Crocodile Sunday

,Day two of being without a phone signal or the Internet and I am up the earliest all holiday, not connected to consuming the most wine the night before of course...... 4.30am and one of us commences the Bluff Cliff walk, the sun is just peaking over the hills surrounding Lake Argyle, when I get company....... Flies.  For the next hour and half,  I improve on my Australian Wave, they are relentless giving me no more than 5-10 seconds reprieve until bombarding any open orifice I possess. The view from the Bluff not worth the effort and aggravation but the shower immediately upon my return, so welcoming and satisfying.  Next stop, 10.30am standing on the Dam Wall taking less than inspiring photographs whilst acknowledging, there may be 30,000 Crocodiles in this lake but we cannot see anything other than two ducks........
Highlight of day, 2.30pm, Sunset cruise, 6 of us on a boat capable of carrying between 60-70 persons, the benefits of coming on holiday in the low season. It turns into a good afternoons entertainment, see huge fresh water fish, loads of wading type birds, whistling kites, wallaroos, Crocodiles and even a bit of baby Crocodile wrestling thrown in by the female of this holidaying duo......... It eventually gave in and she returned it to the water where hopefully it survived, not being eaten by the Daddy Croc, nearby. Now did I mention there are 30,000 Crocodiles in this lake, so just before sunset we stop in the middle of it and to get a free beer, the skipper throws the beer into the air, whilst a stupid, climbs onto the roof of the boat, jumps up, catches the beer and has a swim whilst drinking said free beer.  So now can you think of anyone stupid enough to do this, Oi! Don't be rude, that's not a nice thing to think about Julie that way....... guess again, yep! yours truly, Stupid with honours....... But not only did I do it first, I was the only stupid to do it properly, catching the can with ease before swimming with the crocodiles........ Stupid two, lost his balance and fell off......... whilst I pretended the beer bubbles went up my nose when he surfaced and saw me smirking............
Now before you all think 'What a Doughnut' These croc's are Australian freshwater Crocodiles and 80% of their diet is insects, the other 20% being fish so they do not bother humans, besides their snouts are a lot thinner than a Saltwater Croc and should they bite you and do the roll, it is believed their snouts would break, as yet this theory has to be tested..........
Sunset at 5.37pm but very little cloud to give any life to a photo, so two more beers and we head home, to delete most of the photos we have taken, due to Bar, Restaurant, Shop, Reception all being closed, it's Sunday up North, even the couple we talk to on the boat from New South Wales, cannot get their head around It being dark so early, because, what does dark mean, dark means bed, in Western Australia........

   Daddy Croc

   Crocodile Wrestling

   Stupid having a beer!

Not a Roo in sight

It's Saturday which means we have been on the road for two weeks and have covered 4150kms so far and still not seen a Kangaroo, alive and hoping along the roadside beside us.  Our feeling is that as its 33 degrees at 7am, by the time we are on the road, the wildlife has sought shade and as there is not a lot of that, they are well inland.  One thing I can testify to working is the Australian firebreak, we have driven hundreds of kilometres, where one side of the road is lush and green whilst the other is just charcoal meaning even less shade in places.....
So we stop for diesel, me on one side of the pump and an Australian Hulk Hogan look a like the other side, we stare into each other's eyes, the intimidation being unbearable before he cracks, giving in saying, "where ya go in"  I reply in my deepest gruffest manliest voice possible, "Lake Argyle"  We then spend at least 5 minutes talking campsite/route/towns/places stories over the diesel pump, until his partner comes out of shop, from what he said, my feeling is they got caught having an affair, sold up everything in the North, bought a new car and caravan and are heading down South to start their new life together.......
Have you ever noticed when you drive long boring journeys where the journey drags on for hour after hour, the terrain is just the same kilometre after kilometre, that your mind starts to wander.......
Today's journey involved the 'Outback Outlaws' trying to kidnap us and on the approach to Lake Argyle, we were so totally outnumbered by the Comanche Indians looking down on us from the hill tops that someone with slightly less imagination is really happy we have at last arrived at the most voted for best campsite of 2015, Lake Argyle Resort, she is hoping to at last have some sort of reasonable conversation.......
There is a problem however, in about 3 weeks, we are going to do the same journey in reverse, it could be that Mad Max and and Will Smith in Independence day gets a mention...........

    View from back of van

    Lake Argyle

A campin we shall go

Across the Desert

Leave Broome early as possibly another long drive ahead of us, should we not like accommodation choices in Fitzroy Crossing, which is described as a Aborigine Welfare Town.....  Get to FC around lunch time, stop at roadhouse for petrol, go in to pay and it's like being in a Easyjet plane that has just landed with a load of hen/stag party customers, who of course all stand up with nowhere to go and either get out their phones to tell people they have arrived or shout at their mates at the back of the plane, who are trying to ignore them.......
The security man on the door looked at me suspiciously as 1. I was on my own, 2. I was quiet, 3. I looked almost normal, whereas the other customers definitely would have been out of place had they been on the London Underground, which is the only other place I can think of that would have been as crowded....... 
This roadhouse was the Bank, The Shop, The Cafe, The Petrol Station, The Community Centre and if you could get away with it, the free grab a gift shop......... I saw one family walk in, the mum goes in one direction, the dad in the opposite whilst little 3/4 yr old Johnny, climbs up the sweet display in front of the till, Security shouts at Johnny, the cashier shouts at Johnny, Dad shouts at Johnny, Johnny ignores them all and the displays start to bend, sweets start to fall, all that is except what is in little Johnny's hand and all this time mum is busy 'shopping' out of site behind the aisles at the back........
We drive out of FC after checking we still had some wheels and head for Halls Creek another Welfare Town but at least there, the only bad reviews I've read is to make sure your van is locked and about the drunken fights on a Saturday night, thank God it's Friday.......

Night time bathroom trips.....No more......

So off she goes at 19.00 to wash up dinner plates, saving water for inland trip, and comes back having seen a tree frog, off we go to photograph said frog, when we walk off to see if anymore frogs or ladies with eight legs are around, I walk past a fence panel at which I suddenly hear, "Steve, Snake! " where I ask, "down by your feet" she replies...... GULP......... Now how to photograph it without upsetting it and getting too close and a horrible smell emanating from somewhere....... 

We take four photos with long distance lens and get the hell out of there........

Ha! I say,  I don't think I'll have anything else to drink tonight, saves disturbing you should I have to get up and go to the bathroom.......... I think I've fooled her........

If they are crouching........

Out at 5.30am but beach walk/limp totally uneventful compared with Crocodile Wednesday, walk from beach to camp site, just the odd eagle or two, the limp into camp site, nothing other than the normal green parrots, the walk up to the van or should I say, Motorhome, I see a local resident crouching, what you looking at I say, as all I can see is what appears to be a branch on the ground......... His wife whispers, it's Tawny Frogmouth Owl, it's baby has fallen out of the nest and the mother is Guarding it from the Magpie Larks....... I approach in a semi crouch and the branch transforms itself into a once in a life time moment when you can see both mother and baby Tawny Frogmouth Owls without being up a tree, according to Clive, the local naturalist...... So what do I do, I burst into the van, excitedly grab my, now dry camera and whilst reassembling it, utter some form of gibberish, which from the tone makes someone who has just been rudely woken up, get out of bed, grab her camera and start clicking away outside in her night attire......... After the photo session, I stand guard, attempting to fend off the magpie larks, failed miserably on three occasions, when the MPL flew in and clouted the mother owl on the head with their feet, whilst Clive goes to contact Animal Rescue. Mother owl was the ultimate defender, she did not shrink from her protection instincts until Rescue came in the form of a bronzed Adonis, with a ladder, plastic tray and blanket......... Baby owl taken up a tree in the tray and left until mummy flew over. 
So now when ever we are out and looking for hidden wildlife, we are just going to look for the Crouching Aussie..........
The rest of the day spent site seeing, but that was quickly over and then spent around the pool which is somewhere in the region of 36 degrees........ Funny when we get into the air con van and 32 degrees feels cool.......... Off into deep outback tomorrow with no internet, just aborigine settlements, (Fitzroy Crossing, Halls Creek) so possibly no more updates until Lake Argyle.
One good bit of news though, we saw, approached and spoke with German couple who were robbed, they found all their stuff in the back pack that was stolen, hidden / thrown away in a tree on the camp site. Police say thief just wanted cash as Passports, Credit and Debit cards all found intact.  As we left them it was smiles and Thank you's all round..........

18.35hrs, Even more Good News, sunset was 20 minutes ago and Baby Frogmouth out of tray and bouncing about on a branch next to Mummy Frogmouth.

    A Osprey

Just Chillin

Is it me or does anyone else find it hard to do nothing? I am advised that today is a rest day, we will do nothing but chill, hard to do, when it 37 degrees....... So upon waking at 5am, I put my Burglar skills to use and stealthily creep out of bed, get dressed, get heart monitor and phone so as to track distance and route etc all without disturbing someone, ahh I hear you say, he is so considerate...... Then I get out of the Motorhome and slam the door........ Which whilst someone may feel the need to chastise me, I believe I did her a good turn as she then got up to use the bathroom........ 
Next stop Cable Beach, the tide is out so a huge expanse of sand awaits my footprints, I start my so called power walk and head towards Gantheaume Point, when I am waved to by two female athletic beauties, who are definitely beckoning me over to them and their two dogs, it must be me as its only 5.40am and there is now other stupid bugger on the beach...... So over I go and one of them asks if I have a phone, I say yes and produce my iPhone 6, and she runs off with it.......
Not really, only joking, she takes it and asks do I have email, I again says yes at which point she crouches down and then says where is the camera, I indicate the camera app, she crouches down again and moves here dogs out of the way to reveal a small baby Crocodile, stranded but fiercely protecting its piece of Cable Beach territory, snapping at anything that gets within 4in of it.  Having taken a picture she tries to email it to herself but alas my Spanish Phone has data roaming turned off, talk about take liberties, I mean she could have taken advantage of me, no problem, but liberties...........
Back at base after a dip in the pool and sending pictures via wifi, we head off to town to see what Broome has to offer, we step off the Bus and are greeted by Australia's version of the looki looki man, only selling carved palm tree seed pods, we unfortunately decline his offer, I say unfortunate because later as we walk around town, it becomes apparent that the majority of the indigenous people sit around doing nothing but talk and drink which later becomes shout and drink, whereas at least looki looki was trying to fend for himself.......... If we see him tomorrow we may just end up buying a palm tree seed pod with some strange markings and pattern on, now I wonder who we could give that to as a present...........?
The Sunset photo completion is drawing to a conclusion with both participants down on the beach wanting to include some wet rocks in the foreground so as to capture the setting Suns reflection.  Unfortunately today's completion came to a sudden end when one of the competitors  who was using all of his mountain goat skills to clamber over the wet rocks suddenly fell A over T, and after cleaning the algae from the offending rock with the seat of his pants, soaking his camera, attracting every shark within a radius of 20 miles with the fresh sent of blood from the cut on his ankle, ended up sitting in a rock pool....... As he walked home, dishevelled and covered in a green slimy coating, he wonder just how many of those people behind him taking sunset photos, managed to capture the action shot of his fall from grace............

    Oh so snappy

    Prior to being upended with the glistening rock pool beckoning.........

Sweeping along the Coast

So there we are at 5am, when thump thump outside the van, I'm already awake but someone else wakes up thinking someone is trying to break in, no I say, it's a bit of bark falling off a tree hitting the roof, but now your awake, I was thinking.........

And so it's decided that after a cup of tea, we make an early start and do two days driving in one......

5.30am and I'm in the camp showers all lathered up and singing 'my ding a ling' when suddenly I turn and confront this female with no clothes on, staring up at me, with her arms outstretched in my cubicle, I mutter a deep manly gruff moan that possibly sounded like 'Eeeek' before I notice the sparkle of desire and wanting in her eyes, she moves closer so as to embrace my sublime toned naked body, I notice that she is now standing up on tip toes as if to grasp me and never let go of me in this passionate moment and then I notice her other set of legs and arms waving about at me before I spray our 6inch friend with the shower head and she scurries away under the cubicle door.......

We drive, well when I say we I mean, one of us drove for 9.20hrs and one of us sat in the passenger seat looking longing at the bed in the back thinking, will he mind if I just have a little doze...... The journey is without incident, except for the bush fires we have to drive through and the 4foot lace monitor lizard we almost collide with, but we arrive in Broome and settle for Cable Beach Caravan Park.

Now after 9 odd hours of driving in temps that not once went below 35 degrees, all I want to do is check in, connect up and relax with a cup of tea under the fronds of the palm trees surrounding our site, but hey whilst talking to the receptionist, the phone rings, it's Nina, God knows where she is but she wants to cut a deal where she pays when she decides to leave and not beforehand like very one else...... 5mins later the receptionist returns to us, saying sorry admittedly but can sense I am not best pleased, possibly because I mentioned the fact, that I was thinking of phoning her so as to get checked in quicker....... I am not a happy bunny....... So whilst we are discussing what would be the best site for us with a site map in front of us, the door opens and a German couple walk in, they approach the desk where all three of us are discussing our site location and interrupt by saying, " Just a quick question" and suddenly start talking to the receptionist about changing their site and what other sites do they have available, HE then turns and points and uses our site map to discuss his problem with the receptionist.  Nuclear Explosion time, and without a diplomatic statement, suggestion, hint or reference, he gets told unequivocally to wait his turn and get off my map.......... "Of course" he replies and whilst feeling slightly embarrassed for my outburst to a fellow European, we park up and live the dream....... Out for dinner, she has had such a hard day, I feel someone else should cook for us and so go to restaurant above cable beach for the continuation of the sunset picture competition....... Even I have to admit to one to the pictures below having a certain mystical, magical and dynamic feel to it, where the colour in the sky makes the subject stand out and makes you wish you could be him!

And so we return to camp, only to see the Police driving in 4 minutes before us, but more importantly, we see a man, walking towards us away from the site putting on another top looking furtively around him as we would say in the trade...... Upon entering camp we find out someone has been broken into, we mention our suspicious man and within minutes we are talking to the local constabulary who are taking the details of what has been stolen from our 'Only a quick question' German couple........

We advise where we saw him, that he was not carrying a swag bag but suggest it could be wise to search the said area in daylight or now with serious torches, but that we will check early in the morning for them, providing they don't interrupt us that is.......

And now to sleep with the thought on my mind, do I tell her it was me banging on the side of the van........