Turn Around and Back we go..........

Three weeks and 5800kms to get here, four days here and today we turn around and start our journey South, hoping to beat the rain and get on the West Coast again before the monsoon/cyclone season really gets underway.  The intention being to call into places we purposely left out on the forward journey.  First stop after being spoken about derogatorily by our camper neighbour, they are a bit  anoraky these camping folk, is the Monsoon National Park, get there and just a few cars in car park BUT all are empty so we feel, we should continue and hopefully the nearest we come to anything Dog related will be Dingos......... 
We know we are the first down this trail as I am breaking all the cobwebs stretched across it, although we did not see a spider all day...... Had a really good day saw another Goanna, lots of various and different birds, saw one of those things with a snout and teeth in a spring with fresh water turtles and rays, hoping to be able to swim with the turtles and rays at another spring on Thursday....... Our favourite moment was around another billabong when we almost stumbled into a Shining Flycatchers nest, all we saw was something golden fly away, cursed because we had not see it beforehand and then found the nest with two eggs in, plotted up and after time both parents took turns returning and sitting on the nest.  Took a bit of time but we eventually got to about 8 feet from them, see photos.
Dehydrated, hungry and tired we decide to still travel further South to Lichfield Park where tomorrow's entertainment is scheduled, water falls and plunge rock pools........
Get to campsite of choice and find it closed but remember going past another one, that had lights on, so drive there.  Could this be a mistake I think as I enter the bar/office, sitting on his own with an empty glass in front of him is a man who obviously has not had enough to do today but possibly too much of what was in the glass, images of a deranged psychotic loner are appearing in my mind and I inadvertently call him Norman Bates....... We deal in cash with no records being made etc park up, we are the only residents except for the wallaby's running around the site, No campsite lights, No TV, No internet and No phone coverage and as darkness descends the trees all start to take on there twilight deformed shapes and only now when together with the mysterious scratching sounds outside do we realise for the first night ever, there is no bird noise whatsoever........ 
One of us has asked three times to ensure the doors are locked, we double check them when suddenly we hear a woman's voice say, "Hello, can you hear me"..............
and Adele's new album starts from the beginning.........

    Daddy

    Mummy

Enough is enough..........

So another early start for those that are not of antipodean descent
but for the locals, G'day, How ya going is the normal way to greet each other at 06.30hrs in the ablutions block........  We are off with the rush hour traffic which is very similar to your local high street traffic in the early hours of the morning, we turn off from going into the city and head to Lee Point, hoping to see Dolphins, Ospreys and Sea Eagles, except we get the family fortunes buzzer, uhh err, tides on its way out. Onto beach talk to local getting bait for his days fishing, he saw two Dolphins playing an hour ago....... No such luck for yours truly after clambering over shell encrusted rocks for an hour..... On way back over said rocks bumped into young family we had met at Lake Argyle, recognised the Bikini she was wearing....... They showed us how to gather, corral and direct, thousands of spider crabs, which to be honest, great fun for kids but once mastered, it was let's take photos of that white thing flying over there.....  Off we go, tele lens at the ready, click.  Quick magnify the image and see what it is, it was at this point we could suddenly hear a buzzing, when the kids had quietened down, it's a bloody remote controlled plane....
Off for some retail therepy to the largest shopping center in Darwin, only where to park, our van is 3.3m high, the car park is 2.2m tall........
TV Ariel, T shirts and shorts purchased whilst downloading Adele's new album, off to Crocodylus Park for Croc feeding and all things Croc, half way there and the van is pulling to the left, fight it as I may, it wants to go, then I realise just gone past Doggin Jungle Park and its Julie pulling on the steering wheel.......
After Crocodylus, we have just about had enough of Crocodile's so head to Nightcliff in hope of seeing anything other than with a bumpy back and loads of teeth but the afternoon storm is approaching.  Out at sea it is dark, except every 10-20 seconds or so, when it is lit up by tremendous fork lightening, we stop at the Beachfront Hotel and ask for a Latte and Orange Juice, sorry Sophia the barmaid says, we don't do coffee....... We do have a free coffee dispenser in the Pokies........ We settle for Coke and a wander about, this hotel is no more than a licensed betting office with six tv screens showing live horse racing, a small room set aside with gaming machines and one arm bandits and another sleazy bar leading to another room with pool tables for the more intellectual......... Come on let's head back, we can watch TV tonight and it's my mothers birthday and no doubt she is all excited and up early awaiting my phone call.........

    Happy Birthday to you

    Happy Birthday dear mother

    Happy Birthday to you

    Sea Eagle

We enter Darwin........

Should any of you be expecting to see some fairy Xmas lights draped over a winnebago this evening, I'm sorry to have to advise you that albeit we had made a coat out of dead palm fronds, set up a hide under the van, the occupants of said winnebago went out for the night.  Thus No illuminations......

After our day off we are ready for entry into Darwin but en-route I decide I will give her a surprise and take her to Holmes Jungle Nature Park, where she may be able to see the red backed fairy wren........ Now bear in mind the expression 'First Impressions are most lasting' as when we arrive at this park, it's early Sunday morning so our expectations are high for basically being alone in the park with nature out and about before it gets too hot.  

We arrive in the car park, where only one other van is parked, it has its front driver door open and the side slide door open so as to reveal a fat male in his underpants sprawled over the floor of the van, we pass by and venture into the forest.  After 3/4 hour we return to the car park and find a 4x4 parked up with just some naked female legs with the feet touching the roof on display.  We get into our van, start up and turn around and drive past the 4x4 to now see a male in the drivers seat, a female in the passenger seat, looking at us with the female waving at us, so we thought......... We then drive off to the picnic car park and stop when her next to me wants to photograph some small Crimson finches.  Before long there is another vehicle approaching from behind, I think it wants to pass so start up the van and move it slightly, the vehicle is then driven into a small recess....... 

I then use my phone to look up my suspicions regarding our location......... 

As I am reading the Google search result, the vehicle drives out draws up alongside me with the woman smiling invitingly at me, they then see I have my phone out and Julie standing outside under a tree looking up through a camera lens, at which they drive off......
I then shut down the  'Darwin Doggin sites - Holmes Jungle Nature Park'. screen on my phone..........
We then head off for East Point for lunch before checking in at a Camp Site.  After an hour or two we catch a bus into Darwin Harbour, where according to trip advisor, Lonely Planet and Rough Guides one of the highlights is to head to Stokes Hill Wharf, where a Darwin tradition is to sit there and have fish and chips whilst watching the sun set, so off we go with high expectations of having a really chilled relaxed night.  That of course would mean things going to plan, however we arrive and find a series of down market tacky fast food, whilst I would like to say establishments, I can't, they were no more than a coloured fluorescent light food court with grubby plastic tables and chairs for all to use.  We looked at a customers plate of fish and chips and thought 'No way'! it all looked as if it was possibly re-heated or over cooked in oil that had been used too much, I think the customer thought along similar lines as he returned most of it and walked off, not looking a happy man.
Taxi! 
We are off to Cullen Bay to watch the sunset over the sea, we get there and lo and behold, there is a Fish and Chip restaurant right on the edge, overlooking the bay, the sea and with the dying Suns ray's filtering over our table, I say "Now I'm happy".

    This Crimson finch is blushing at the antics of the humans in his park

    Cullen Bay Dining Table view

Saturday, a day of rest......

The plan today is to take it easy but as usual I am being driven by a inner force that cannot be argued with, otherwise I'll cry....... So washing, cleaning, tidying all done and now one of us is bored listening to Radio Obscurity Darwin, whose listeners are getting really worked up and excited about the possibility of rain in the near future, even though in between news and weather reports, they give advice on having a cyclone kit with you so as to see to your needs during the first 72 hours after a cyclone, they even give the kits away as prizes.  They contain things such as water, soup, tins of tuna, tinned vegetables, baked beans and Tabasco sauce........... Mine has been created with slightly less thought, new case of VB Bitter and two bottles of Pinot Noir......... 

Heard our first Xmas song on the radio this morning and was surprised that it's only a month away, we have not given it much thought.  That said, having passed through some of the towns that we have, that are not even as big as the parade of local shops where my parents live, I'm not surprised they have not put up decorations and a Xmas tree, although if they were to put a bit of tinsel around the 'No Swimming - Crocodiles' signs, with the amount of signs they have, it will twinkle like Oxford Street........
Our day off becomes a trip to the local shops, where we upset the guy who follows us in because we take up two parking spaces, leaving possibly 40 more for him to choose from but not directly outside the Post Office, "Hi" I say, nothing in reply, possibly the first person in Oz to ignore the obligatory, How ya doing, Good Day, Howzit going and the one I liked best was in the local off licence (Bottle Shop) which is double the size and twice as busy as the local IGA (Tesco Express) store, I was standing in front of the VB Bitter chiller when a workman with a 4wd and a hi viz top came in and said, "You okay, Big Man'.  I was the only one there honest.......... Then he bought one can of bitter and went off to continue his days duties...... You may think in some alcoholic haze but having never been called Big before, I think the can was for his dear ol mum.........
So there we are taking it easy, when some wildlife come to us, I quickly learn that Peacocks like cranberries and raisins and are rather territorial when it comes to said food products being shared with two Ibis........
Newsflash, check this page tomorrow because we are expecting a major holiday scoop.
All morning, the guy across the site path to us has been washing, cleaning and re-proofing the canvas awning to his Winnebago and as I compose these words for the crazy campers journal, he is putting Christmas Lights up around his awning........
Plans are now being made to obtain some photos surreptitiously so you to can all share in the joy and wonderment of being a 'Christmas Camper'.........

    My new P cock........

    This is my neighbourhood!

No rain but a bit of a wet Friday

Once again on the road bright and early as have to be 35 kms away for a guided ranger talk on rock art and aborigine culture at 9am, but before hand we want to try and capture the elusive black cockatoo on a sd card......
So cruising towards rangers talk when at 7.55hrs we see three black Cockatoo's on the road side by a T junction.  A quick emergency stop and U turn completed entirely safely due to no other traffic on the road, we alight and stealthily approach said Cockatoo's from the opposite side of junction, all the time focusing on them when all of a sudden, a convoy of five cars turn into the road junction and the elusive mummy, daddy and baby cockatoo are off into the tree tops never to be seen again.  The 8am start staff for the visitor center however got to work on time......
Another U turn and we arrive at the meeting point for our guided talk, hit it off straight away with a couple, who begin to talk disparagingly about warm British beer....... Within two minutes of the talk everyone soon finds out he is one of those people who constantly mutters in agreement with the speaker, try's and second guess his final word, so as to sound as if he also knows the subject and not only agrees but laughs at the speakers non-funny attempts at humour...... So much so even his wife spent most of the tour apart from  him....  One of us drops out of the tour having decided that Ranger Christian Uphimself is about to become the most boring, self indulgent jobsworth in Kakadu, the other perseveres, unlike two others who follow our drop out in the middle of his talk, but after an hour and half even our patient bite your lip hero, gives up as the temptation to strangle Ranger Christian and ask why he could not see he was boring everyone to death with his statistics, his condescending attitude, his dysfunctional manner of speaking, mostly in English but constantly broken up with aborigine that only he understood, became so overwhelming the sole UK representative returned to find drop out number 1, sat swatting flies....
We leave Kakadu and head for the Window of the Wetlands, a million dollar purpose built elevated glass viewing observatory with free to use tele-binoculars so as to view the bird and animal life of the flood plains and wet lands...... After twenty minutes we had left, thinking it should just be called The Window.  
There were no wet lands they are awaiting some rain and the subsequent accompanying bird life......
Next stop Fogg Dam Nature Reserve, the dam, which the Dutch would call a Dyke, was not holding any water back as there was none, so apart from the 4ft Goanna that decided he would test and see how good the Motorhomes brakes were, all we saw were the same old Magpie Geese we have seen all over NT, the water pythons this area is renowned for were obviously not available for viewing due to the lack of their pre-requisite, water........
And so we find ourselves 27kms outside of Darwin, beaten by the lack of the wet stuff, parked up for two nights in a campsite, so as to complete domestic chores before reaching the top of the top end and our turn around point.  However whilst I have been writing this sat in the shade drinking a cold but almost tasteless Aussie beer, I have been visited by a peacock, a ibis, half a dozen corella's and a pair of lorikeets, who needs to travel.........

    The 8am Cockatoo Airways flight to tree tops, leaves on time

    Daddy Cockatoo banking from on coming traffic

    Rock art to adorn the family home.

    That little rock in top left corner can keep Ranger Christian going on and on, and it cannot be 

    described as stone or boulder, it is a rock......... 

 

    So your brakes do work, Goanna on you!

Crocs and Culture

Breakfast with the Cockatoo's and off for a day of culture &  croc's but as usual plans go astray once we consult the so called experts in the visitor centre, she states high tide is an hour earlier than the actual time so we end up rushing and breaking the 5000 kms barrier, to do croc's and then culture....... Having rushed and got to Cahill Crossing, where the croc's line up waiting for the fish to arrive with the high tide and get washed over the concrete river crossing, we now have an hour an half to wait.  Eventually tide and fish arrive and we witness just how easy it is for the croc's to catch fish, the fish basically come and swim into there mouths, no wonder there are  at least 10 croc's lined up waiting.  Some of the croc's even cross the crossing themselves so as to have there supermarket dash........
Next off to get a coffee in the shop we rushed pass en route, get there to find notice on the door, 'Closed until June 2016', some people have such a good business sense..........
Off to Ubirr to see Centuries old  Rock art paintings and climb to the top of the rock art site to see the magnificent and majestic view of the Kakadu flood plains. Get there and the one of us with the sensitive nose says, "I can smell fire"  the other one goes yeah yeah yeah.  "I can see smoke" says the concerned one, yeah yeah yeah says the 'Oh get a grip one'.  We then see where the rain has made some of the 5000yr old paint run on the rocks and climb to the top of the rock to see the view.......
"I can't see sod all" says the flippant one, " No that's because of the smoke from the bush fire" says the ever so correct one ( if she had been a cockatoo her head feathers would have been well and truly up) "Bugger, might as well go to Jabiru, have a shower and wash the smell of smoke away"  The smoke follows us, don't worry says campsite receptionist, it will rain in an hour which will clear it all away.  Lo and behold, as we look out the window, it's started to rain, welcome to the Northern Territory Wet Season..........

   Give us more of your nuts, Steve!

   

     Croc crossing Cahills Crossing

     Bush fire, What! Bush fire........

Going Native

Leaving civilisation today, some would say we did that at Gatwick and heading for Kakadu, so first job of the day is to get a hair cut, start off at 6.45am sitting outside in camping chair and utilising reflection in Windows of van, job done!  Head off for provisions for a week and ask the checkout girl, who was possibly 20yrs, " Is there anywhere in town, we could buy Adele's new album" She looked up, studied us carefully and smiled, the smile developed into a giggle and before the last item was scanned all three of us were laughing out loud at my stupid question........
Off we set to Edith Falls, the first water fall visit of this holiday, God it's hot and guess who is there to accompany us, the F#*~ing Flies, we climb to the top pool but decide that it although it may be fresh water it looks yuk, so down to the bottom pool, where we see the notice from the local government advising us that they'd do their best to keep out salt water crocodiles and that you should not swim in the bottom pool after 7pm, because estuarine crocodiles only feed at night....... It's so hot! So let's take the chance that my sweaty feet will deter whatever.......... Splash! This fresh running river water is warmer than my swimming pool at home ever gets, how am I going to cool down? No idea but I suddenly notice, no flies, they are all off looking for some other sweaty body to irritate..........
Next stop Pine Creek for coffee before Kakadu, on the approach to pine creek we see loads of signs advertising refreshments etc, we turn in and find three really dumpy places, two of which looked closed, so we continue to the plush looking 'Pine Creek Railway Resort' it takes ages to find a legal parking spot as its on the town cross roads, but we eventually enter and find a notice, 'Back in 5 mins' no customers, the restaurant in darkness and chairs on top of tables........ Now those of you that know me, know of my low tolerance and patience level with incompetence, so you alone can now imagine the scene in side this so called 'resort'...........
An hour later we pull into the Mary River Roadhouse, where we are served by a young good looking guy from Suffolk, working his way around Australia but has to return in March, but does not want to.  Get talking to him about Kakadu and what to do and his boss comes out and spends at least 20mins talking and advising us of the best places etc some of these roadhouses are so desolate but the staff, amazing!
Off we drive through termite country and notice the mounds are getting taller and taller, so much so that we later find out that some birds actually hollow out a nest in them...... We eventually pull into Cooinda and immediately book the sunset crocodile cruise, after the roadhouse recommendation. Wow what a result, two hours of going up and down 'Alligator River' (it was named by some explorer that did not know the difference between croc's and alligators)
Breathtaking, amazing and fascinating, we even see a buffalo impersonating me losing the flies by dunking himself in the river....... the guide was an aborigine who had so much personality, knowledge and river water skill, we are thinking of doing the early morning cruise at 6.45am with him...... Okay one of us is......... One of us takes over 400 photographs whilst the other uses up her camera battery, both on a high when we get back so only thing to do is hit the bar, in a proper resort, that we are staying in tonight.

    No flies on me........

    Termite Towers

    You crocky devil....... Come on in this bit of water.......

    Hey Steve, have your flies back!

    Your blog is such a yawn........