Forest Overload

As I was consuming my medication last night in the hotel bar, it started to rain ever so slightly, so with only one of us needing said medication it was decided to return home before it got too wet and messy due to the leaf mulch patch we were camped on.  We did that and settled in to a riveting night of Australian TV, during which we could hear thunder in the distance with the odd spot of rain on us.

This morning having awoken with the song 'These legs were made for walking' ringing in my ears but with literally nothing working below my waist, I used one of the muscles left functioning normally and turned on the TV news.  OMG we have the bad fire to the North of us, a new fire to the west of us and another to the East of us, started by the thunder and lightening from last night.  The Southern Ocean and Antartica are south of us so we decided South it is.  My normal 2 second jump from the van has turned into a 30 second swing from the steering wheel, a grapple with the wing mirror, followed by a ten foot waddle before I can resemble a human walking but looking extremely similar to John Cleese in a famous tv sketch........ I refuse to shower again with the flies, moths, bugs and other creepy crawlies so head back to the van, where I suddenly see a van that appears to be camouflaged as a Brown and White zebra........ We wanted rain to clean the van but it now looks worse than it did, so after breakfast we break another campsite rule (water is a valuable commodity) and rinse the van over, at least now it's a uniform dirty van.......

Then whilst en-route today South to Walpole we deviate and undertake a 23 kms drive along the Great Forest Tree Drive, it's one way and on dirt........ It takes us over an hour during which we did not see a thing, in fact, we find ourselves 3 kms back along the road we had travelled in on, not a happy bunny..........

We arrive at campsite, right down on the coast, if we go any further South our wheels will get wet, but as we reverse into our site we are approached by a female who has rushed across from the laundry to say, we might have a problem with going so far back and her guide ropes.  Now normally I'll help and oblige anyone, but today is not a good day for me, however had she approached in a friendly way, my reply of " More a problem for you than us" would have sounded something similar to, okay thanks for pointing that out, I'll pull forward two feet........ Don't understand why Julie is laughing at that bit.....

Needless to say she storms off and I put another nail in the coffin of Oz / UK relations....

I see the cleaner finish cleaning the Gents toilet block and Whoooooooooooosh, I hobble over and basically get an invigorating pressure wash the water pressure being so high.......

I am then taken on a 4km walk around and through Walpole knoll, basically another forest, looking for anything with either four legs, no legs, two wings, a tail even eight legs but we see nothing other than a Kookaburra, which my pain sensors are still of the opinion, it was not worth it.

So we are now flat out on our backs in the van and do not intend to move again today and all the time our unfriendly neighbours are taking a short cut across our site as if to prove a point. Tomorrow I do hope my legs are going to be better as we will have some fun with said 'We are real camper bullies' and as he is bigger than me, I'll need them to run away........

    23 kms of this

    And this

  

    Our natural fire break.

There is Stupid, Very Stupid, Incredibly Stupid and then Steve......

After posting last night I thought what do we do tomorrow and started to read the local publicity pamphlets, WHAT! the Gloucester tree is one of three fire look out trees and is not the tallest......
So when we awoke this morning I had to slide out of bed and before having to step down from the van onto the earth outside the door without the aid of a fireman's emergency rescue inflatable bed, I  suddenly had the urge to rush out and buy a walking frame........  Needless to say whilst Pemberton is a town that bears a slight resemblance to something similar to normal, they do not have a walking frame shop.  So two hours later when I am standing at the bottom of the Dave Evans Bicentennial Tree, thinking are you sure or what, I step onto the first of 165 metal bars sticking out of the side of this tree and move forward...... Stupidity does not come into it, insanity does when I feel the muscles in my thigh scream out saying oh no not again and for the next eight minutes I continue onwards and upwards until I am 75m (247ft) above the forest floor.  YES, I did it and what do I get for it, I get a similar view to that of yesterday, tree tops.......... But then eight black Cockatoo's set off from a tree top with a squawk and I'm watching them fly through the forest from above them........ 
And now for the difficult bit, going down, because the bars are at different angles and different spaces, you have to look down so as to see where you are putting your feet but you can obviously see there is a lot of space between them and the ground at the same time........  I'm on my way down as a woman is coming up, I ask for her to wait at the 25m platform, which she gladly does.  After asking me about the next bit, she comes down immediately behind me and jumps into the arms of her husband and child, she then pushes me out of the way and cuddles them properly.........

I am now walking, like I have never walked before and with the aid of crampons and a harness I get back into the drivers seat and head for Windy Harbour via Northcliffe, where I am hopeful of a rejuvenating   Cappuccino...........   Just how stupid can one person be, Northcliffe, Cappuccino in the same sentence........ It's another town of about forty houses, 9 roads, a School, a Cemetery and a Pioneer museum, which is basically someone's front room........ We get to windy harbour which is not a lot better and put the kettle on, whilst listening to some of the jobsworth volunteers arguing over cleaning the Sea Rescue Boat....... It appears as if the brave men who man the boat when at sea all managed to find something else to do instead of getting involved between Mr Ivor Gotta-Medal and Mrs Up Ones-Bottom..........
We do the sights and one of us who by now is impersonating a duck as he walks, becomes a naughty boy in the eyes of her who shalt not break any rules, as he disregards the No Entry / Path Closed sign and eventually gazes upon the natural phenomenon called 'Natures Window'.  As he climbs back up hill he is thinking, in a weeks time, you will laugh about this..... Oh Scotty, please beam me up now.........
We drive the 50k back to Pemberton but drive straight past the campsite, "Where you going" I hear, I reply" to the doctors, my legs are jelly, they need some iron "  we then pull into the Pemberton Hotel car park, go inside and I order two pints of Guinness......... Job done! I feel so much better and can 100% guarantee, I will not be climbing any trees tomorrow..........

For those of you with the word "Why" on your lips, the answer is, "Because it's there and it's the biggest"............,

   Look carefully and you will see a bottom towards the top......

    Natures Window.

    Salmon Beach

    Tookulup Lookout

We are an Embarrassment

Squawk, Screech, Croooochew, translated from Bird language means, good morning campers, it's half past four, we are awake so are you now.......  The joys of being back to nature are fading fast on me, first I have fellow campers, I don't want to go there, second I have the toilet blocks, I certainly don't want to go there........ And thirdly even though our clothes are washed in the machines, they never look clean or feel really fresh.  We have now began to wear and wash the same clothes over and over, then just leave them behind when we return home, which is a bit of a bugger as every time I walk past a 'Billabong' shop I go in and buy a new pair of shorts, have four new pairs at the mo, waiting to be worn.........

Today we are not sure if it's cloudy or still the smoke from the fire, the fire of course is the main news item on TV and has not improved over night, giving the broadcasters access to some really dramatic footage and photos to broadcast.  We though are going to do the Karri Forest Trail drive, waterfalls, Rapids and the Gloucester Tree......

The Gloucester Tree is a fire lookout tree in the middle of the forest, it's 59 meters tall with iron rods banged into the side of it which you use to climb up to the top like a ladder as they circle around the tree as you go higher.  Only one of us was demented enough to try it and whilst the legs coped okay my hands have blisters on them from grabbing and holding on so tight.  The person at the bottom was however unable to record this feat as she was unable to watch fearing she may have to witness my demise....... Unfortunately having succeeded to reach the top without calling for emergency medical assistance I looked out to see the stunning views over the tops of the Karri trees, the tallest trees in Australia and saw ' Smoke'.  What is it with our luck and views in this country?

When I return to Earth, having allowed several people on the way up to pass me, (Scary or what) my legs are somewhat 'Jelly' like and I am glad of the opportunity to sit down next to her of the Fairy Wren Hunting fame, who unsurprisingly has been photographing Fairy Wrens, only different ones from yesterday's......  

We eventually then undertake the Karri Forest Explorer drive, which starts off on a sealed road but moves onto a so called gravel road which eventually turns into a Dust road........ It's 48 klm during which we get to see some dried up waterfalls, some Rapids that are dribbling and a yabbie that has been caught within the first two hours of the yabbie hunting season by a group of locals who I would imagine will be too stoned to cook them later tonight.....

So we finish off going back to someone's favourite spot Berry Farm for a repeat of yesterday's photo session and a homemade Blueberry muffin for me, no luck with the Wrens but we see a parrot shoplifting and getting away with it and then, two, have a look at the last photo and see if you can work it out why.........

At the end of the day's activities, I pull into a garage to check the tyre pressures, OMG we look like we have been in some off road rally, the van is filthy, it's now brown, when the air pressure gauge is released from the tyre valve the excess pressure blows a cloud of dust in my face.  We are easily the dirtiest vehicle in town and the way the locals keep their cars clean, they are always out washing them, we are going to be an Embarrassment  until it rains and the chances of that are zero at the mo..........  I'm not sure how to cope with this but her next to me says don't worry, it'll be okay, it's easy to cope, after all, "I have to do it every day, when I'm out with you".........

    2hours into the season and I'm dinner.......

    Tree top view of smoke.......

   We are not the only visitor to Berry Farm and we make just as much mess....

    Why are there Alpaca's on a Berry Farm?

Surprise, Surprise and back to nature

We wake up and find one half of the sky is black, whilst the other is bright blue, then we find out about a really serious bush fire just up the road from us, where we had been on Tuesday.  The weather forecast for Bunbury is Sunshine and Smoke........  Every 15 minutes on the radio and half hour on the tv they give Fire warning updates, for some it is too late to evacuate and they are told to stay put and take active measures to protect themselves and their property.  Some who were told to escape to the beach have had to be ferried out by boats, it's not looking good for some......
We on the other hand had a set back ourselves with the $Au Travel Money Card we have been using, in that we have used the maximum allowed for a year, so cannot top it up, we now have to use a UK Debit card and pay the foreign transaction fees and bank charges etc......... So all transactions etc now to be conducted in cash........
Meanwhile I have been scheming and have come up with a cunning plan, I don't mention it but I ensure someone's camera battery is fully charged and set off towards our next destination, Pemberton.  En route we go through some really nice looking small towns with the requisite coffee establishments but we pass on by, she must sus this out, I'm thinking.........
At midday, TomTom lady says, "Turn right and you have reached your destination" at which little miss next to me sees the sign 'Lavender and Berry Farm', she now knows she is very likely to see 'The Superb Blue Fairy Wren'. We order pancakes and drinks and there is movement outside in the open garden, whoosh is it a plane, is it a train, is it Superman,  No it's two little legs moving so fast they are a blur as the BFW hunter is off with camera in hand........ I basically have coffee on my own, except I feel I ought to take a picture or two of the Fairy Wren now walking about on our table..........  The blueberry pancakes arrive with red berry sauce and ice cream, and neither of us can eat a whole one, I eat half and push the rest of the plate away from me further along the table, wait two minutes and I am ably assisted in finishing it by two birds called, silver eyes.

Someone is so happy she does not want to leave but does when I promise we will come back.

We check into the Camp Site and as we are driving to our site, both of us are thinking, this is different....... It's basically a clearing in the forest with some 1950 style toilets and showers, the only good thing is when I look at our fellow campers, I don't think many of them will use them.......  This is real camping, not motor homes, not caravans, half of them not even tents, it's swag style camping, lie on the floor in a sleeping bag with a mossie net over you and a zip to keep the snakes and spiders out....... The only real difference between these present day campers and the original 1950 campers, is our power site is not only providing us with a micro wave and air con but is recharging all the real campers iPhones........  The camp site has a swimming pool, we go and check it out, it's a wide part in the creek running alongside us with a concrete block damming it to cause the deep end.  It's brown water has dozens of leaves, paper bark and ducks floating about on it but the campers have rubber rings, inflatables and their dogs in it......... My thoughts are we let the leeches feed on someone else this time.......

We are 200kms from the fire but the sun has just turned a brown/orange colour from the smoke that has drifted our way from it.  Seeing how we are in the middle of a forest, I have been out and bought a large 2 litre bottle of water, just in case.......

    The Blue Fairy Wren

   Is this chair free....?

    I'm a Silver Eye, you have eyes bigger than your belly......

   The Lavender and Berry Farm, could be in Surrey.....

    Why is she out there?

Bunbury in a Day

So we think it will be a good idea to go into Town by bus as there is a stop right outside the campsite, saves parking a big van in the center.  We look for a timetable, no such luck, look on line, no such luck, ask in reception, no luck so there I am looking for bus company telephone number to ring them whilst walking to corner of road, when a huge shriek goes up next to me and I get pushed in order I don't step onto a snake the same colour now as my underpants.....
The Bus will be along in 50 minutes, back to camp and ten minutes later we park the van down at the beach where within 5 minutes we are watching a Dolphin doing what some would call tricks but in reality it was hunting for fish in shallow water.  Well after half hour or so we walk to a coffee shop......... Now as I may have mentioned before the Australians whilst appearing to be good natured, will put  up with anything, they are a bit basic, so should I really be surprised when my coffee arrives with the remnants of the last twenty people to use the mug, stuck in the crack around the top....... Do I make a scene? If I do I may get free antibiotics for anything I succumb to....... Having left said Coffee shop, I stop a couple in the street and ask them the way to the Hospital, No not really, I asked where a certain store was, we start talking and I realise I have become one of those irritating persons who stand in the middle of the pavement as a group talking and everyone else has to walk around you.  After 10 minutes of talking to this couple, I adjust my position so as to allow free access to the footpath, David the guy we are talking to, says don't bother walking, we will give you a lift........ and so we arrive at the store, refreshed and some good advice about touring New Zealand, the Australian v Expat culture, The South West of Australia and where to find bloody Fairy Wrens......
The store we wanted is useless but we go into Bunnings, a DIY store next to it, looking for a screw to replace the one in my belt buckle that had fallen out.  There we are down an aisle, looking through boxes of screws, removing one and trying it in the buckle of the belt which is now in a bag, surprise, surprise two Bunnings Staff are suddenly next to us giving us the once over, so best form of defence is attack, I confront them by asking if they could help, best service we have ever had in Australia.........
Now the problem with a lot of Australian Towns on the Coast is that they obviously started off some time ago due to some form of industry, so whenever you see a lookout advertising a stunning view of the coastline and town, you also know you are going to get in the background some form of industry which is simply ugly, Bunbury is no different with grain silos etc, so once again we get that disappointed feeling about the things to do and see according to the Bunbury Tourist Guide.  I drive around, we do the Mangrove Boardwalk, the Leschenault Inlet, the Big Swamp Reserve and see basically nothing, certainly nothing new.  So on impulse I drive out of town, following my nose and  hopefully a sense of direction towards the sea and end up on a new housing estate which has obviously been built on land that was previously a wood/forest and that has had to have retained a lake, some natural woodland and dunes left to regenerate.  Wow Christmas has come early for someone next to me, she is having a whale of a time with the Birds we see, one a Nankeen just dropped out of the sky about 25ft in front of us and invited a young magpie to lunch with him..... There were Eagles, Parrots, White Eyes, Kookaburra's, and loads of water birds, so much so, she was not amused when her camera battery died on her......  That's enough nature for one day, let's go get some diesel, well blow me down with a feather if we don't get to the garage and find a 5inch long Wood Moth, thank heavens for camera phones.  Now the Wood Moth, having spent two years as a grub has no means to eat, it just does what male and female wood moths do and dies, something that brown snakes can easily cause humans to do, so from now on, we are playing follow the leader, with me bringing up the rear............

    Dolphin in the middle of Town

    Contagious Coffee

    Nankeen looking for dessert.......

    Pretty Polly

    Kookaburra

    5inches of Wood Moth on the pull.......

Just, No pleasing some people......

As we pull away from all our new friends in Rocking-Ham with crystal clear vision we think, will we miss them, ha ha ha ho, no way........  Off to Bunbury but whilst en-route I get an urge and we take a detour to Serpentine National Park, where the water falls are at an angle of 45 degrees.  Now the problem of being back in civilisation is that you have to share whatever with whoever and so even though we are early at the falls, others have beaten us to it and no way are we going to get a photo without the so called civilised also being in it.   There is also no way, when the Blue Fairy Wren hunter is standing quietly in a spot where they are known to frequent, that the so called civilised are not going to be walking past, talking loudly, dragging eski's on wheels, shouting at the little civilised who are running all over the place banging sticks on the undergrowth and totally ignoring the Blue Fairy Wren Hunter who's blood is beginning to boil and it's not because of the heat........ Let's walk away, somewhere quiet I say, whilst prising her fingers away from little Bruce's neck...... and we find ourselves in a little rest area away from everyone looking up into the trees.  After 5 minutes, I'm bored and look down at my feet to find a Blue Tongue Skink lying in the shadows of a bench seat looking up at me, thinking, 'oh how observant you are, you Pink Tongue Stinker'. Psst I say with a nod and a wink to BFW hunter and say, there's something here with smaller legs than you, ouch! How about a BTS instead....... It's the first time we have ever seen one outside of captivity so start clicking away trying to catch his blue tongue when it comes out.  He is playing with us, I alone took over 70 photos which resulted in 4 tongue shots whilst BFW hunter managed 3 and so we watch as he skilfully climbs a rock, looks around, judges where he wants to go, makes sure it safe and clear and then falls 18ins head over tail off it............  Onward and upward we go and whilst we see the elusive BFW amongst trees and shrubs, we are denied the opportunity of taking decent photos.  We get back to the car park and it is chocker, this causes me some concern so I say lets go for coffee, I need to make plans etc.  We go to Serpentine itself, what's happened, has our van become a time machine, we are back in the basic 70's again, we take a look inside both so called 'Dining establishments' and walk out.  Off to Mandurah where we park up near the beach, I grab a table with shade over looking the beach with a gentle warm sea breeze simply tickling my warm bits, whilst someone else is preparing Tea and Sandwiches.  Then having glared at anyone who remotely even looked my way never mind thought about sitting down, just as the van door opens and two mugs of tea exit it, a nun and three children ask if they can sit down and use the table so as the children can eat their McDonalds meal......... As the scream subsides inside my head I hear myself saying "Of course" and so we share our Lunch time with little shy Joshua and our nun from Somalia......... After lunch I make the phone call necessary which I hope will allay my concerns but I am told, "Sorry, we have No Vacancies" just what I thought, all these civilised people are on their summer vacation, I phone more camp sites, all of whom say the same. Finally we find one 5.5kms outside of Bunbury that can accommodate us.  This is the first time this holiday we have experienced this and so I contact every camp site in our next port of call, Busselton and no one can put us up this weekend.  We get to our camp site and the receptionist explains it will be like this until February, so we now reverse our intended route and are now going the way we expected to be coming.......
I find a country campsite that has vacancies so no problem up to the weekend, what a difference from just being able to walk in and choose your own site, not sure civilisation is so good now........

    Serpentine falls, with people.  National Geographic never have this problem....

    Blue Toungue Little Legs

    Why I'm called what I am.......

    A Stinker!

Rockingham Revelations

We start our day by actually eating again for the first time since yesterday's breakfast, only today it was a much more normal portion, we then go to meet our host who appears a little disgruntled with his life, 69 yrs, 46 of which have been in Oz but has just sold camp site to Government to build housing on for American Navy, stationed here.  Reading between the lines he would have got more had someone bought it as a going concern....... Next stop, the ferry to Penguin Island, where, what do we see, you got it, Pelicans........ It appears that once they have charged ($16 each) for the ferry to get across to the island, they tell you that you are unlikely to see any penguins as they go off during the day feeding, are very shy and hide in burrows but if you pay more, you can see the captive ones........  No thanks, we will take our chances and within five minutes of landing are looking at a group of three Little Penguins, the smallest penguins in the world in the process of moulting, so are unable to go fishing........Then we find more hidden under the Boardwalk we are on.  There are thousands of other birds and where ever you kneel or place your hat, it's over bird poo.......  We then find a Kings Skink out hunting for birds eggs and are excited until we find out the Island is almost overrun with them, they are everywhere and we eventually stop taking pictures of them and change to Pelicans.  The island is also a Pelican Rookery and it was amazing to see possibly 20 Pelicans flying at the same time, almost in formation, we now understand where a 'Squadron' of Pelicans comes from.  3 hours later we are in the shopping centre getting provisions and still being amazed at just how normal life here appears, compared to where we have been for the past two months.  We go to a deli for lunch and can hardly believe we get asked so many questions concerning the sandwich and coffee we want making and we get it brought to our table, all without the aid of a flashing buzzer.........
Onto Cape Peron to see Sea Lions and or Dolphins, it's too overcast to see clearly so inland to Lake Richmond, here we find some Black Swans who lead us to the local crazy woman........ She is on the waters edge and explains to me, that there is a serpent in the water by the rocks 18 inches out........ Now whilst my mind wants me to say one thing my mouth actually says the opposite and we start a discussion where she eventually concedes that it could be an eel she has seen..... There are splashes now around the rocks, which she confirms is what she has been referring to as 'El Serpente'.  I then decide to take a life into my own hands and push Julie out to have a look....... It's a fish, who in order to feed on the tadpoles and small fish, darts across the shallow water over the rocks, snaps one up and then darts back to the deeper water.  We go to explain but too late she is now in full flow of telling us about her husband, her divorce, her son being in prison, her home being New Zealand, that she lives over the other side of the lake, that she's a swinger and that there are Tiger Snakes and King Brown Snakes in the undergrowth she has just got us to walk through......... Now obviously, I am interested in one of the subjects and ask her about being chased, yes she says, they will chase after you..... Tiger Snakes that is.........  Oh look, is that an observation tower I say, yes, you get a good view of the lake from up there, she replies.  I then ask if she is going that way, she replies No and off we go, after I ask her to stamp a path in front of us to get back to the proper path, which she agrees to and does....... Quackers or what!
Now back at camp and whilst returning from bathroom get asked by neighbour if he is annoying us with him and his mates guitar playing, No I say, mainly because we had not heard him above the air con.  Now both are almost very near the falling down stage, when he asks me what do I think of Australia, I start to answer but before I can finish I am offered a smoke from his bong, some weed to smoke, am told he used to be in a biker gang, his brother committed suicide, that he has served 3 yrs in prison and that he is not allowed a passport so can never leave Australia.
He also told me why Biker Gangs never ever have Japanese bikes, will save that for a quiz night and that if he is annoying us to let him know.............. I just replied, if you annoy or upset us, you will be the first to know, we will not tolerate any of your bad ways, just remember that, then I got in the van and changed camp sites........

    I'm trying to hide from you.........

    Be glad when we can go fishing again

    More fish for us to eat

    I wonder why Biker Gangs don't allow Japanese Bikes.......

    Embarrassed because I caught them kissing.......

    Hiss off, mad lady........