Angst in Augusta

 I open an eye and am blinded by the bright light, I whisper "Is this Heaven?"  Fortunately I am told, "Don't be stupid"  I open the other eye and find the sun is streaming in through the windows together with its reflection off of the river, wow I missed a good sun rise photo opportunity there.......  My finger is throbbing and painful, so much so I am relieved of all domestic 'prior to breakfast' camper van duties, somehow I manage to fulfil the casualty/invalid's role perfectly and watch morning TV..........

Breakfast is before nine but we wait until after so as to deal with things in their proper order of priorities, therefore the dead come before the dying and we phone the camera shops........

First is no good but the second has the camera she wants, just a pity they are 200kms away, we reserve it and state we will collect it tomorrow, a smile appears on her face.......

Before we deal with my medical emergency I ask to go for one last walk along the river bank, just in case........ As we are parked on the river embankment it is no problem getting the defibrillator out into a shopping trolley to accompany us, we commence our walk in a Solemn mood but before long we see a different kind of skink warming up in the sunshine, then a different type of lizard, followed by a family of blue wrens, followed by a pod of five Dolphins, followed by a squadron of Pelicans landing nearby where two black swans are swimming next to a heron looking for his breakfast. We stop and talk to two locals who tell us the lizards are just juveniles, that they can grow to almost two feet and then usually adopt a house to live in where you allow them to do so as they keep the mice population at bay.  One of the guys has one living in his roof and he often hears it scrambling about, he then tells the story of a roof repair contractor who whilst being Ozzie macho man type, squealed like a little girl when he came face to face with one recently.  We are also told that Black Swans have not been seen here on the river for at least ten years and that the locals consider seeing them as a sign of Good Luck.

Seeing as how I saw them first we are hoping that the luck will fall on us as we walk into the Pharmacy, where we impose upon an assistant my horrific injuries, she impersonates some of the people on the whale watching boat trip we went on and passes me onto a Pharmasist who suggests I get seen by a Doctor.  We ask them to call an ambulance but they insist we walk next door to the surgery........

We enter and it confirms our thoughts about Augusta, it's a retirement town and on a Monday morning it's full of the ill, injured and hypercondriacs.  There are three doctors on duty but I have no chance today of seeing one of them, I can have an appointment at 11.15am tomorrow, my nurse in training, whilst feeling exhausted from carrying around my intravenous drip, states we can't do that, we have a camera to pick up......... and so we leave and go food shopping in a supermarket that is playing Elvis Presley singing 'Glory Glory Hallelujah' is this an omen I ask my nurse?  She replies, "What type of cheese do you want"

We are off to Cape Leeuwin and its lighthouse from where we can see the two oceans collide when they meet.  As we arrive the sun retreats behind grey cloud so we settle for a coffee and scone, we sit down and I look at the table opposite and there before my very eyes is a lady who immediately reminds me of my nan (deceased). Is this an omen I ask and get told, "No! It's just an elderly lady with a perm"

This lady is with her husband awaiting two other couples to come back from the lighthouse, they return and the three ladies go off together and disappear.  Having finished my coffee and getting bored awaiting my allotted time to go on a guided tour of the lighthouse I decide to utilise the time by a trip to the bathroom.  I follow the signs which lead you through the souvenir shop where I see two of the ladies previously mentioned, I walk past them to the bathroom and it's just one uni sex toilet, it states vacant so I open the door and find the third lady sitting down on the toilet, no more details are necessary at this point...... I apologise, she smiles and I return to the cafe, where ten minutes later all three ladies return, and upon seeing me giggle and pass comment on the lack of observation by her security detail and that had she used the lock on the door I would not have been embarrassed.....

Five minutes of fun conversation was then had between us, where all I can say is, elderly ladies know how to have a laugh.......

Up 176 steps to the top of the lighthouse where the guide managed to fill out what should have been a ten minute trip into half hour of delivering insignificant facts, including that one of the rocks in the sea just outside was called Cumberland Rock and is the exact polar opposite to the white house in Washington DC and when she has American tourists she tells them it's The Presidents escape route......  I'll let you get over that side splitter before I continue and tell you about the Hospital visit.....

My finger is continuing to be painful especially whilst holding the steering wheel, which does take up the majority of time I'm driving, so we see a Hospital sign, let's see if they have 'A&E' I say, so walk in and see Mrs J Obsworth the receptionist, I show her my finger and ask if anyone is available to advise me as its now more painful and I am unable to see a doctor, no need for treatment, just advice as to it will be okay or get it seen to........ Reply, "Are you saying it's an Emergency, we are an Emergency department" When I parked up outside I noted there were no other cars parked in the visitors bays, when I walked in I noticed there was no other persons waiting in the waiting area, whilst at the receptionists desk, I noticed three nurses talking in the nurses station about one of them getting a new dog, whilst the receptionist herself was photocopying a document.  I look at Julie, raise my eyes, turn back to the receptionist and state, "I have been bitten by I don't know what and everyone we have met so far in Australia has told us that nearly every living thing in this country is out to kill you, I cannot see a doctor, yes it's Urgent". We then have the are you UK citizens if you live in Spain discussion and that I may have to pay for any examination and treatment.  Do I @*#!;@ care, came out, "That's okay, we are insured" Twenty minutes later I am connected to a heart monitor, blood pressure gauge and something to check my oxygen levels, whilst the nurse who personified the typical old school matron, examined me and states never seen anything like this before.....

Oh how my confidence was boosted by that statement....  She is reluctant to interfere with it with an instrument as when she squeezed and pressed it, my hand involuntarily pulled away whilst my lungs suddenly took in a huge amount air....... There is no tracking of the infection into your arm, your temperature is normal, your oxygen intake is 99 out of a 100, the pain is no doubt from the increased pressure caused by the puss and you are rather handsome, leave it and see what it's like tomorrow, is the diagnoses. I ask how much I owe or need to pay and told, No Charge to anyone who says their blood pressure is higher than normal because of being dealt with by an attractive nurse.......

    Mummy Dolphin

    Just caught Breakfast

    Go away, I'm warming up

    Cape Leeuwin Lighthouse

    Two oceans meet.

Last Will and Testament

We are up and after driving 400kms almost all the way in the rain we arrive in Augusta, on the South West tip of Australia, where we go to our first choice of camp site.  We drive around it but it looks more like an Eco hippie commune, we decide we would prefer something a little more Conservative so end up down on the river bank surrounded by ducks and seagulls.  I think it was the toilet doors being shower curtains that made our minds up, which they describe in their advertising as " Our unique atrium-styled ablutions"...........

Now someone is not a happy bunnie, yesterday after being drenched by a wave, her camera also took part in the unscheduled shower, now whilst bunnie appears to have got over it her camera has had a short circuit and is refusing to work.  To rub salt into the wound we go for a river side walk this afternoon and she sees her favourite birds, the blue fairy wrens but alas only one of us has the means to record this moment..........  We call into the Visitors Centre and ask about Camera repairs or being able to buy a new camera, we wait for the lady to stop thinking, laughing, phoning her friends to tell them about our stupid request and then wipe away the tears in her eyes before she says, probably Perth or maybe Busselton or Bunbury, 150kms away.

We then try the shops but they are closed so tonight it's a 'whatever is left over omelette' but at least we have TV and the sun has started to break through the cloud, which hopefully will lift the temperature a bit, on the way here around midday it was 12.5 degrees and this is their summer..........

And now dear reader I come to the really sad bit and cause for the title of this post, the other day whilst out walking in front forging the way through the bush I constantly broke through cobwebs and the like, so much so that for hours afterwards I was brushing webs, spiders, insects, bugs and even caterpillars from my hat, face, neck, shoulder and down my shirt, well it appears one of them or something has bitten me or laid it's eggs in me.  Now I am sure you are aware of how non fazed I am about anything trivial to do with my health so before I get flown out of here by medivac and seeing the pharmacist tomorrow I would like to say thank you to you all, it was fun and my will is in the safe at home.  

Adios, Spider-Man.

    Outside our front door.

    Someones favourite bird........ Photo courtesy of...........

     Spider-Man is born........

Orca-smic

Up early, check weather, sunny but still windy so it's toast, tea and sea sick pill before we arrive at the jetty, there's movement on the boat, it must be on, now to find out if the wait was worth it.

30 of us climb aboard and we are told it's going to be rough, then bumpy and then choppy, as we pull out of the harbour, we suddenly felt it get different but we were on our way, cameras, go pro, charity shop clothes, extra sea sickness tablets and a packet of ginger snaps as they are supposed to help.

We have been at sea for 10 minutes before the first casualty falls foul of sickness at sea and she is right across the aisle from us.  Within the next hour half a dozen others are grabbing for foil lined bags provided by the charter company.  Neither of us are talking, me having my eyes fixed on the horizon whilst Julie is fixed upon something else, we feel okay, so much so I have arranged to take a guy to Albany in the morning so he can hire a car, come back for his family before going to get his vehicle which is stuck in the dreaded Cape Arid Park, the same one that we got caught in but he did get further in than us in his 4x4........ Thank god I was not stupid that day and went in further rather than turning around!

We hear some squeals and see our first Orca and join the rush to the rear, moving, wet deck of the boat and try and take some photos which from seeing what we did take, was not easy.......

An Orca then breaches at the back of the boat whilst I am there alone as every one has now gone up the front or on the upper deck.  This Orca having breached and appearing to smile at me must have realised my camera was under my Charity Shop jacket and I could not get a photo in time, he then dives right in front of me and goes under the boat just as I take a photo to remember this magical moment, it's of the sea where he had been, nothing else in it, just the sea........

We are then sailing into the wind when I hear two females scream, I turn around and see two women soaked to the skin after a wave had invited itself onboard, one of the women I'd never see before, the other has just cooked me porridge for dinner........  Her camera is drenched as well, I tell her time for the charity coat, she goes into the cabin to dry out but cannot get warm and what with the stuffy stale air she was breathing in, she never came back out to play.........

It then becomes a bit of a scramble at times with some of the 'Go Pro selfie pole mauraders' charging about the boat, pushing next to you and thrusting their cameras on the end of the pole into the water trying to get underwater shots.  However as we were at sea for 7.5hrs and they wanted everything recorded, their batteries were beginning to fail, so they turned them off.  That's when one of them, the one being the biggest pain in the Ar*e, thrust his down next to me as a Killer Whale was swimming alongside us just under the surface, I was so jealous as my go pro was in my pocket........ He was so excited as was his girlfriend who had now pushed in between him and me, then the whale swam away and he pulled his camera out only for his girlfriend to notice, he had not turned it on........ Sort of thing I would do........

Now having lasted 6.5hrs without too much of a health problem and that we are now heading back to port, I venture inside the cabin, to check on someone, there are bodies holding paper bags all over the show, some are lying down and two had not moved during the entire trip. I get a positive nod of the head and walk back outside, too late, I'm feeling the same, I grab a bag and what do you know, Good afternoon Toast........  I refuse to go back into the cabin but there is nowhere outside in the dry as the skipper has gone into warp drive to test out his new engine and propellers, They work perfectly and we are speeding back to port, sometimes with air between us and the water but I am now drenched from the spray, but I'm not going back into that cabin........

After 40 minutes I can see land and think was it worth the wait, at that precise moment I did seriously doubt it but now, Yes it was worth it, we must have seen 30-40 killer whales, some had their calves with them, a sun fish and I've probably lost weight......

    Mum and Daughter out of sight

    Wobbly fotos....

    Sun Fish

    Looking for a Sun Fish Lunch......

    Move over sis!

Any Good Book Recommendations?

We start the last day of waiting around by waking up early and hearing Wind......
Oh please don't cancel the cruise because of the weather, we look out and see blue sky but the tree tops leaning at an acute angle, only thing we can do at this time in the morning is put the kettle on.  We set off just before 10am to walk around town, via the estuary footpath, so as to eventually end up in the Olde Telegraph Station for a Coffee. We cross the road, I walk in between two trees and a voice behind me says "What's that" I bet you know before I've written it, it's a juvenile brown snake........ We watch, hop skip and jump with him for 5 minutes until he gets bored and disappears into the undergrowth, obviously the sun has brought him out and as he looked recently fed we keep a look out for more whilst also looking at the water and in the trees for someone to see new birds.  All we see are some Butterflies laying eggs and Pelicans taking off and landing which is when I think they look their best...... Unless flying in formation of course.......
We have coffee, call at the ATM and lunch back at the van before we set off in search again for the Weedy or Leafy Sea Dragon, we go to where they are supposed to be and due to the wind there is no chance of snorkelling or seeing them there.  We go past the Cemetery, now Bremer Bay is not a big town with a population of 250 people but their cemetery only has 17 graves/headstones in it, so it's either a very healthy place to live or no one stays here long enough to die...... 17 people tried it and died from boredom.......
We go to a sheltered beach on the other side of the bay where the sea is calmer and still no sea dragons but I do get checked out once again by a large sting ray who allows me to chase after him with GoPro until he has cleared the sea/beach of bathers, all of whom have legged it screeching "Stingray, Stingray" sounds like a tune....... I never heard them because of having my head under water but when I get out I get asked if I saw the Ray, I say yes, I was chasing him, got him on video, holding GoPro up with smile on my face.  I think I detected the lips of the huge bearded hillbilly man say something like "Dickhead" I'm not sure who he was referring to..........
Back to camp, shower, change and out to the well publicised fish and chip dinner at the sports club.  We drive up and there must be at least 7 cars in the car park, we walk in and are the only customers........ There are 5 women in the kitchen, a mountain of fish and chips already prepared, a huge table with a help yourself salad buffet, one man behind the bar with his co worker this side of the bar, two girls and five kids who had made three different types of cake that they were selling at A$2 a slice.  We order drinks and food and get some extra special service, I think they just wanted something to do....
As we are eating a few more people arrive but it is obvious, they are going to have a surplus of food left over tonight.  Now bearing in mind this towns population, that hardly anyone is here and we have been here four days, would it surprise you to know that we knew two of the people here......... We talk to one of them who is on a table with three friends and two of the cooks and she states that the Killer Whale trip for Sunday is cancelled....... I try phoning the organiser to establish if tomorrow's is still going but no answer and then we see the news on TV, a huge cyclone is about to hit the North West, where we have been, tomorrow and the winds are going to be felt down here on Sunday, so as of this moment we are all packed with our Charity Shop coats, our sea sickness tablets, ginger snap biscuits and are just wondering what that bottle of red tastes like, as tonight it's party night for some but for me it's a no booze tonight...........
So for us it's an early night and hopefully I'll finish my book which is just getting to the exciting bit, it's where Noddy goes into the Dark Dark wood.........

    Not so easy to see first thing in the morning

    Playing Hide and Seek, with something that could make it the last game you play......

    Take off......

   See the little fish on his nose, he kept following it around......

    Next years Butterflies being born.......

Ditchwater Day gets better......

We are still in Dull as Ditchwater Bremer Bay, it's still over cast and we have no idea what to do to occupy our time, except go to the ATM and withdraw the maximum A$200 and see if there is any way we can spend some of it, whilst there we could see if they have any bread less than a week old.  Good news and Bad news, we get there and they have fresh granary bread but the ATM is kaput......... We break into our last hundred and then go for coffee in the other campsite.....
Not only do we get the coffee we also get an hours entertainment as every time the lady comes out we joke with her about Bremer Bay, she cracks up with one of those infectious laughs, we laugh at her which causes her to laugh more......  A University professor on holiday on his own then joins us and it's almost party time, except it's 11am and we are on a Caffeine high only.
Now you may think at times whilst reading these posts that he, being me, has made things up or possibly embellished something, yes that may have happened slightly but nothing other than facts have been reported on these pages, my proof reader ensures that...... So what I am about to write is the truth, it actually happened and it was said.  Whilst partying as previously mentioned, we were told about an Abalone Farm just up the road, we had previously seen a TV programme about said farm, it's the only one, and how top secret their methods were as the Chinese and Asians pay through the roof for fresh Abalone and this company were making a very healthy profit.  So we are later in the visitors centre asking about The Weedy and Leaf Sea Dragons, more about them later, when I also ask about the Abalone farm.  The lady who was helping me was very charming and polite, she had even heard about us having to stay here for five days due to the Whale trip......... So she tells me, "You cannot visit or go around the farm but why don't you go and look at the buildings they are very impressive".  With that I return to the van and we suddenly see a Red Capped Parrot sitting on the electricity cables above us, someone has been looking for one of these for three days and there he is about to deposit yesterday's dinner on us...... 

We drive past the town Cemetery making our way to the 'Impressive' Abalone Farm, we turn a corner and there they are before our very eyes, the farm with the top secret method of providing fresh uniform Abalone, in what can only be described as Nissan Huts........ I am in fits, tears are in my eyes, I nearly go off the road, all I can think of is that sweet lady has had me well and truly over or she has lived here too long..........
We settle down and decide that one of us will go snorkelling looking for the Sea Dragons whilst the other will Crochet.  The Sea was not at its calmest but the draw of possibly seeing the Sea Dragons enticed one of us in, I could not concentrate and dropped ten stitches worrying about her out there in a 3ft swell.......... No sea dragons seen, it was too rough but a 4ft Stingray came along and swam underneath us, I did give his tail a bit of a wide berth, didn't want another Steve going down to one of them........
Came back on a bit of a high so took my chef out to dinner to the Bremer Bay Resort, which with one night left here and that has to be almost a non drinking night, I find they sell 'Guinness', tomorrow's going to be a long day........

    Red Capped Parrot

    Stingray

    Impressive buildings..........

BBB - Boring Bremer Bay

What can I say!  This is the toughest part of the holiday so far, killing the time and we have another two days to go............
We start the day sat outside having breakfast and watching almost half of those present packing up and pulling out, our neighbours walk past which kills about 20 minutes whilst talking, they have been here 18 days and have another 10 to go, we ask them what is there to do here for our three extra days and they suggest reading a good book.........They also tell us about the Pelican OP Shop, more about that in a minute, providing I have had sufficient to drink and can bring myself to tell you...........
We go out to buy some sea sickness tablets in preparation and of course to draw our daily maximum limit of $200, from the ATM, it's a limit imposed by the town to stop reckless spending by town folk......... We check out the bread situation which is dated 19/01, 8 days old, we, along with everyone else leave it on the shelves, this is because of a National Holiday following weekend, apparently...........
Wait a minute, one more gulp of beer and I'll tell you what we did next..........
We go to the OP shop, this is basically a charity shop run by volunteers that is open on Wednesday and Saturday mornings, boy are we lucky......... We go in and ask if they have any jackets/coats to help protect us from the possible elements whilst at sea on Saturday as it can be cold when you are leaning over the side giving your breakfast to the fish.........
We look around and one of the ladies pulls out this coat for Julie who tries it on whilst I'm looking through the men's items, I hear, "There you are it fits and will keep you warm" I turn around and see her in this jacket that is down to her knees and burst out laughing, I don't think the woman helping appreciated it but if I can I will get a photograph of her in it and even you Kathleen will smile at the very least when you see it...... Anyway it's all they really have that will keep her warm and it cost 4 dollars, that's £2 in old fashioned money.......
Now remember my reluctance to buy a T shirt (someone has done the washing now) well imagine what I am feeling in this neat and tidy affiliated shop to Steptoe and Son, when the same helpful lady holds out a lumberjack jacket that is lined for me, it's a medium, it's warm and it's 2 dollars, a £1..........  I ask if it's clean and she shows me where two other ladies are ironing items donated to them that week that they have washed, Sold I say but you can have it back on Saturday, fine just leave it in the box outside she says.
We get in the van and I say, "if I'd have known we were going to have all this extra expense, I might not have chosen to go on the cruise"
Next stop the Old Telegraph Station for Coffee, it's a 103 year old building that someone bought four months ago and is hoping to turn it into a restaurant / bistro.  The Australian lady owner is slightly reluctant to speak with us but her South African husband talks for 20 minutes or so telling us his plans, his past careers, where the local bird and wild life is located, about the building itself, it's made from the Australian equivalent of Tosca but it has red veins running through it and then most importantly of all, he shows us where his resident Huntsman spider lives...... It's just inside the entrance and he lets it stay there as it's a form of pest control, taking care of blow flies and the like.......
We're off next in search of the local wildlife around a lake and having been warned about the Tiger snake once again, we walk along the path through the undergrowth mainly looking down at our feet.  However we get to the lake without seeing anything whatsoever, including water in the lake, another failed expedition.  We then start to drive to the Fitzgerald National Park but cannot do it without at least 30 kms of gravel road, so cancel that idea, turn around and head back, when we find a skink on the road side that just sat about watching us, he was not bothered by our presence at all and we got photos of him showing us his blue tongue. 
Back to camp and our neighbours have packed up and gone, was it something we said or they did not want to be associated with a lumberjack impersonator......

http://sandjaustralia2015.blogspot.com.au/

Sent from my iPad

    This rascal is a minimum of 6 inches......

    On Saturday, your face will be the colour of my tongue......

Australia Day

We awake to find a lot of people packing up and going home, why come here to celebrate the night before Australia Day but then leave on the day itself?  Could be work I suppose but then why volunteer yourself to spend a National Holiday driving home?
So we have no TV reception, a just about phone signal, so the Internet should be available if we stand on a chair, in a clearing........
I'm bored, it's not even 10am, we have nothing planned for the day as not sure what will be open etc, so I get myself a bucket, fill it with water squeeze some shower gel in it and start to wash the van, hoping it will rain as per forecast......... No such luck, the sun comes out and whilst the van looks a lot better, the next time it does rain we are going to leave a trail of bubbles for sure.........

After I shower I go to put clean clothes on, OMG, no clean T shirt, someone has failed in her domestic chores, I put on a long sleeved rugby shirt, ten minutes later as we pull into the general store with the ATM, I am roasting, sweat dripping down my back, I cannot wear this.  I then did something I have never ever done before, a first in my life time, a once and only event, a never ever to be repeated occurrence, I bought a T shirt in a general store..........
We drive off to the Museum, just for coffee and a scone, as I said yesterday, the museum is full of old rusty farming equipment, old blacksmiths tools, old tack and saddlery items but then it has the fuel tank from the Spacelab which landed nearby after being jettisoned......... Someone in this van and it's not me, saw it and thought it was a roll of wire wool....... Honest she has not been drinking.......
We do a few bays/beaches but they are all full of 4x4 vehicles and gazebo's on the beach itself, it must be a holiday.....
We then feel the time has come to experience the ultimate high of a visit to Bremer Bay, a visit to the Wind Turbine......... At this point I find I am almost at a loss for words to describe our true feelings considering this publicised tourist attraction, however I think the fact that I got out of the van to record this truly memorable event and share it with you whilst the other person known as the little lady, did not even bother to get out of the van, may just help you understand how we felt..........
Next stop is the lookout tower, it's whilst we are here that we notice once again, just how many cars drive up and leave almost immediately with only the driver in.  Bremer Bay has a population of 250, why do so many single men want to come up and see the wind turbine.........
So back to Bremer Bay itself and I stop and talk to a fisher lady, who gives me the low down on Bremer Bay, the sand bank being breached, the opening hours of the sports club and the location of the towns pub, although I never asked the question burning my lips about the popularity of the wind turbine........
So back to the campsite and I revise our plans for next week, our final week, ahhhhhhhh.

Now someone wanted to know what was so special about the Whale Expedition, well for one its Killer Whales and possibly up to 100 of them gathered in the same spot.  Apparently every February - April the Leeuwin current is at its weakest and it allows hydrocarbons from the sea bed to reach the surface which causes crustaceans to release billions of nutrient rich eggs into the waters around this one spot which in turn attracts the killer whales, giant squid, sperm whales, whaler sharks, sunfish, shoals of tuna, sea lions, fur seals, pilot whales, dolphins and masses of sea birds. BUT the entrepreneurs of the world want to mine it somehow which will stop the wild life collecting in this one spot 70kms out at sea, for some reason all the advertising recommends you take sea sickness tablets before and during the voyage........
They only discovered it a couple of years back and it might not be there in another couple, so that's the draw for us, I only need one decent photo of a killer whale to look back on and I'll be well happy, as for the other person undergoing this sea sickness test, she's happy if I'm happy.......... Ouch!

    The entrance to the museum cafe, giving us a taster of what lies In store........

    Bremer Bay

   Be amazed..........

    The facts!

    4x4 hidden by trees