No rain but a bit of a wet Friday

Once again on the road bright and early as have to be 35 kms away for a guided ranger talk on rock art and aborigine culture at 9am, but before hand we want to try and capture the elusive black cockatoo on a sd card......
So cruising towards rangers talk when at 7.55hrs we see three black Cockatoo's on the road side by a T junction.  A quick emergency stop and U turn completed entirely safely due to no other traffic on the road, we alight and stealthily approach said Cockatoo's from the opposite side of junction, all the time focusing on them when all of a sudden, a convoy of five cars turn into the road junction and the elusive mummy, daddy and baby cockatoo are off into the tree tops never to be seen again.  The 8am start staff for the visitor center however got to work on time......
Another U turn and we arrive at the meeting point for our guided talk, hit it off straight away with a couple, who begin to talk disparagingly about warm British beer....... Within two minutes of the talk everyone soon finds out he is one of those people who constantly mutters in agreement with the speaker, try's and second guess his final word, so as to sound as if he also knows the subject and not only agrees but laughs at the speakers non-funny attempts at humour...... So much so even his wife spent most of the tour apart from  him....  One of us drops out of the tour having decided that Ranger Christian Uphimself is about to become the most boring, self indulgent jobsworth in Kakadu, the other perseveres, unlike two others who follow our drop out in the middle of his talk, but after an hour and half even our patient bite your lip hero, gives up as the temptation to strangle Ranger Christian and ask why he could not see he was boring everyone to death with his statistics, his condescending attitude, his dysfunctional manner of speaking, mostly in English but constantly broken up with aborigine that only he understood, became so overwhelming the sole UK representative returned to find drop out number 1, sat swatting flies....
We leave Kakadu and head for the Window of the Wetlands, a million dollar purpose built elevated glass viewing observatory with free to use tele-binoculars so as to view the bird and animal life of the flood plains and wet lands...... After twenty minutes we had left, thinking it should just be called The Window.  
There were no wet lands they are awaiting some rain and the subsequent accompanying bird life......
Next stop Fogg Dam Nature Reserve, the dam, which the Dutch would call a Dyke, was not holding any water back as there was none, so apart from the 4ft Goanna that decided he would test and see how good the Motorhomes brakes were, all we saw were the same old Magpie Geese we have seen all over NT, the water pythons this area is renowned for were obviously not available for viewing due to the lack of their pre-requisite, water........
And so we find ourselves 27kms outside of Darwin, beaten by the lack of the wet stuff, parked up for two nights in a campsite, so as to complete domestic chores before reaching the top of the top end and our turn around point.  However whilst I have been writing this sat in the shade drinking a cold but almost tasteless Aussie beer, I have been visited by a peacock, a ibis, half a dozen corella's and a pair of lorikeets, who needs to travel.........

    The 8am Cockatoo Airways flight to tree tops, leaves on time

    Daddy Cockatoo banking from on coming traffic

    Rock art to adorn the family home.

    That little rock in top left corner can keep Ranger Christian going on and on, and it cannot be 

    described as stone or boulder, it is a rock......... 

 

    So your brakes do work, Goanna on you!

Crocs and Culture

Breakfast with the Cockatoo's and off for a day of culture &  croc's but as usual plans go astray once we consult the so called experts in the visitor centre, she states high tide is an hour earlier than the actual time so we end up rushing and breaking the 5000 kms barrier, to do croc's and then culture....... Having rushed and got to Cahill Crossing, where the croc's line up waiting for the fish to arrive with the high tide and get washed over the concrete river crossing, we now have an hour an half to wait.  Eventually tide and fish arrive and we witness just how easy it is for the croc's to catch fish, the fish basically come and swim into there mouths, no wonder there are  at least 10 croc's lined up waiting.  Some of the croc's even cross the crossing themselves so as to have there supermarket dash........
Next off to get a coffee in the shop we rushed pass en route, get there to find notice on the door, 'Closed until June 2016', some people have such a good business sense..........
Off to Ubirr to see Centuries old  Rock art paintings and climb to the top of the rock art site to see the magnificent and majestic view of the Kakadu flood plains. Get there and the one of us with the sensitive nose says, "I can smell fire"  the other one goes yeah yeah yeah.  "I can see smoke" says the concerned one, yeah yeah yeah says the 'Oh get a grip one'.  We then see where the rain has made some of the 5000yr old paint run on the rocks and climb to the top of the rock to see the view.......
"I can't see sod all" says the flippant one, " No that's because of the smoke from the bush fire" says the ever so correct one ( if she had been a cockatoo her head feathers would have been well and truly up) "Bugger, might as well go to Jabiru, have a shower and wash the smell of smoke away"  The smoke follows us, don't worry says campsite receptionist, it will rain in an hour which will clear it all away.  Lo and behold, as we look out the window, it's started to rain, welcome to the Northern Territory Wet Season..........

   Give us more of your nuts, Steve!

   

     Croc crossing Cahills Crossing

     Bush fire, What! Bush fire........

Going Native

Leaving civilisation today, some would say we did that at Gatwick and heading for Kakadu, so first job of the day is to get a hair cut, start off at 6.45am sitting outside in camping chair and utilising reflection in Windows of van, job done!  Head off for provisions for a week and ask the checkout girl, who was possibly 20yrs, " Is there anywhere in town, we could buy Adele's new album" She looked up, studied us carefully and smiled, the smile developed into a giggle and before the last item was scanned all three of us were laughing out loud at my stupid question........
Off we set to Edith Falls, the first water fall visit of this holiday, God it's hot and guess who is there to accompany us, the F#*~ing Flies, we climb to the top pool but decide that it although it may be fresh water it looks yuk, so down to the bottom pool, where we see the notice from the local government advising us that they'd do their best to keep out salt water crocodiles and that you should not swim in the bottom pool after 7pm, because estuarine crocodiles only feed at night....... It's so hot! So let's take the chance that my sweaty feet will deter whatever.......... Splash! This fresh running river water is warmer than my swimming pool at home ever gets, how am I going to cool down? No idea but I suddenly notice, no flies, they are all off looking for some other sweaty body to irritate..........
Next stop Pine Creek for coffee before Kakadu, on the approach to pine creek we see loads of signs advertising refreshments etc, we turn in and find three really dumpy places, two of which looked closed, so we continue to the plush looking 'Pine Creek Railway Resort' it takes ages to find a legal parking spot as its on the town cross roads, but we eventually enter and find a notice, 'Back in 5 mins' no customers, the restaurant in darkness and chairs on top of tables........ Now those of you that know me, know of my low tolerance and patience level with incompetence, so you alone can now imagine the scene in side this so called 'resort'...........
An hour later we pull into the Mary River Roadhouse, where we are served by a young good looking guy from Suffolk, working his way around Australia but has to return in March, but does not want to.  Get talking to him about Kakadu and what to do and his boss comes out and spends at least 20mins talking and advising us of the best places etc some of these roadhouses are so desolate but the staff, amazing!
Off we drive through termite country and notice the mounds are getting taller and taller, so much so that we later find out that some birds actually hollow out a nest in them...... We eventually pull into Cooinda and immediately book the sunset crocodile cruise, after the roadhouse recommendation. Wow what a result, two hours of going up and down 'Alligator River' (it was named by some explorer that did not know the difference between croc's and alligators)
Breathtaking, amazing and fascinating, we even see a buffalo impersonating me losing the flies by dunking himself in the river....... the guide was an aborigine who had so much personality, knowledge and river water skill, we are thinking of doing the early morning cruise at 6.45am with him...... Okay one of us is......... One of us takes over 400 photographs whilst the other uses up her camera battery, both on a high when we get back so only thing to do is hit the bar, in a proper resort, that we are staying in tonight.

    No flies on me........

    Termite Towers

    You crocky devil....... Come on in this bit of water.......

    Hey Steve, have your flies back!

    Your blog is such a yawn........

From Gorges to Caverns

"What time is it" she utters, feeling the van sway from side to side, half six I reply, "but it's still dark" that's because your eyes are closed....... At which point I scurry off to the shower block and hope in vain, that tea will be made upon my return.......
The morning is spent in Katherine Gorge, where it is already 40 degrees, be careful, take lots of water, mind the temperature, it's hotter in the gorge than up here are all helpful comments we are told before the same people try to sell us half a day canoeing, WHAT! are we not likely to fry in a canoe for 4 hours, We ask..........  Err, No comeback and so we do our own thing, being ever mind full of my Mum's advice, "Be careful and don't come back without her" 
Later in the Visitors Centre restaurant, I ask the man behind the counter, who was a happy, smiley aborigine for a iced coffee.  Two things happen, one he looks at me blankly and two, his jumped up Australian female boss charges over, almost pushing him out of the way, whilst saying in her Australian high pitched whiney voice, "Sorry sir, we can't do that we don't have any ice cream or cream" "Good, I reply, because I don't want any, I want a white coffee over ice the European white coffee method, which this gentleman was going to do for me"  She then leaves and I tell the guy how to make a coffee and then tip it over ice in a glass, which he did, problem being the cup of coffee he made was almost twice the size of glass he had, so he threw the rest away but charged me the same.  However when he handed it to me, the smile on his face made it all worthwhile and after sipping it and complementing him on it, I had made a friend......
The afternoon was spent down Cutta Cutta caves, got to get out of the heat somehow, our guide is possibly 25yrs going on 75yrs and as there was only two of us and one was a girlie, he was being very prim and proper but really boring........ Half way through the tour, I asked what Cutta Cutta means, he asked if he could turn off the torch and lights, I said yes and it was so Dark, you could not see the proverbial hand in front of your face, you could see your watch face glowing but that just appeared to be suspended.  He then flashed his torch and the whole place twinkled from the crystal deposits, Cutta Cutta means, the place of many stars...... Once Julie had told him she was not a girlie girlie, he then managed to find frogs, snakes and spiders all of whom live full time in the caves.
Then back to town where we suddenly get a Police escort home after doing a u turn in front of them, they thought we were trying to avoid them, when in fact I had just gone past the turning I wanted to take to Katherine hot springs...........
Now as we sit outside the van waiting for the wallabies to turn up, drinking tea with 'Chocolate Hobnobs' we have inadvertently saved the life of a peaceful dove, two are wandering around us picking at the apparent never endless supply of titbits, when suddenly without a sound there is a mini whirlwind next to us, both doves scatter and the eagle who had just dropped in and then aborted his dive by when he realised we were there, flew off high and away............. A Doves life or a brilliant wildlife action photo, don't ask which way I'll vote.........

    Katherine Gorge

   Cave dwelling brown snake

    Cutta Cutta Twinkles

 

   Hoping he does not keep us awake tonight

Northern Territory

First thing in the morning, before a cup of tea, one is not at ones best shall we say, what with the grey matter being slight dulled by its over night rest, so now imagine how can it be made to function at its normal operating speed without that dose of caffeine, the answer is staring you in the face in the first picture........
It was when we were both eye balling each other, the Park Rangers words of advice, that I have adhered to ever since, came rushing back "Don't park your van up so it is touching the leaves" the reason being all sorts of things can then easily access your van.......  This mornings tree snake being just one of the sorts of things.....?
After the adrenalin rush and two dozen photographs we head off and within half hour it is two hours later, we have crossed into the Northern Territory which is 1.5hrs in front of Western Australia, hooray, it means we should have some sort of an evening, with sunset being closer to 8pm instead of 6pm, it also means one of us is ecstatic due to it being darker in the morning........
So 500 kms soon fly past, with just the usual half dozen or so emergency stops due to eagles feeding off the road kill and another half dozen due to cattle in the road, a huge bull (that was a first) in the road, Bush Fires, Lizards sunbathing and a lady sitting in a chair beside the road with a large pole in her hand....... Unlike the N322 ladies, this ladies pole had a sign on it saying 'Slow' but did she move, we were possibly her first vehicle for half hour and she wanted to make her presence felt so as to safe guard the hi vis work force, half a mile ahead of her......
And so we make it to Katherine, where we will stay a few days and do the Gorge etc whilst possibly taking the visitors centres advice and do Kakadu before Darwin rather than after as all roads are open at the moment but in two weeks time who knows what roads will be open but there is a chance the main roads will stand a better chance of staying open, providing they don't get washed away.............

    Good Morning

Crocodile Sunday

,Day two of being without a phone signal or the Internet and I am up the earliest all holiday, not connected to consuming the most wine the night before of course...... 4.30am and one of us commences the Bluff Cliff walk, the sun is just peaking over the hills surrounding Lake Argyle, when I get company....... Flies.  For the next hour and half,  I improve on my Australian Wave, they are relentless giving me no more than 5-10 seconds reprieve until bombarding any open orifice I possess. The view from the Bluff not worth the effort and aggravation but the shower immediately upon my return, so welcoming and satisfying.  Next stop, 10.30am standing on the Dam Wall taking less than inspiring photographs whilst acknowledging, there may be 30,000 Crocodiles in this lake but we cannot see anything other than two ducks........
Highlight of day, 2.30pm, Sunset cruise, 6 of us on a boat capable of carrying between 60-70 persons, the benefits of coming on holiday in the low season. It turns into a good afternoons entertainment, see huge fresh water fish, loads of wading type birds, whistling kites, wallaroos, Crocodiles and even a bit of baby Crocodile wrestling thrown in by the female of this holidaying duo......... It eventually gave in and she returned it to the water where hopefully it survived, not being eaten by the Daddy Croc, nearby. Now did I mention there are 30,000 Crocodiles in this lake, so just before sunset we stop in the middle of it and to get a free beer, the skipper throws the beer into the air, whilst a stupid, climbs onto the roof of the boat, jumps up, catches the beer and has a swim whilst drinking said free beer.  So now can you think of anyone stupid enough to do this, Oi! Don't be rude, that's not a nice thing to think about Julie that way....... guess again, yep! yours truly, Stupid with honours....... But not only did I do it first, I was the only stupid to do it properly, catching the can with ease before swimming with the crocodiles........ Stupid two, lost his balance and fell off......... whilst I pretended the beer bubbles went up my nose when he surfaced and saw me smirking............
Now before you all think 'What a Doughnut' These croc's are Australian freshwater Crocodiles and 80% of their diet is insects, the other 20% being fish so they do not bother humans, besides their snouts are a lot thinner than a Saltwater Croc and should they bite you and do the roll, it is believed their snouts would break, as yet this theory has to be tested..........
Sunset at 5.37pm but very little cloud to give any life to a photo, so two more beers and we head home, to delete most of the photos we have taken, due to Bar, Restaurant, Shop, Reception all being closed, it's Sunday up North, even the couple we talk to on the boat from New South Wales, cannot get their head around It being dark so early, because, what does dark mean, dark means bed, in Western Australia........

   Daddy Croc

   Crocodile Wrestling

   Stupid having a beer!

Not a Roo in sight

It's Saturday which means we have been on the road for two weeks and have covered 4150kms so far and still not seen a Kangaroo, alive and hoping along the roadside beside us.  Our feeling is that as its 33 degrees at 7am, by the time we are on the road, the wildlife has sought shade and as there is not a lot of that, they are well inland.  One thing I can testify to working is the Australian firebreak, we have driven hundreds of kilometres, where one side of the road is lush and green whilst the other is just charcoal meaning even less shade in places.....
So we stop for diesel, me on one side of the pump and an Australian Hulk Hogan look a like the other side, we stare into each other's eyes, the intimidation being unbearable before he cracks, giving in saying, "where ya go in"  I reply in my deepest gruffest manliest voice possible, "Lake Argyle"  We then spend at least 5 minutes talking campsite/route/towns/places stories over the diesel pump, until his partner comes out of shop, from what he said, my feeling is they got caught having an affair, sold up everything in the North, bought a new car and caravan and are heading down South to start their new life together.......
Have you ever noticed when you drive long boring journeys where the journey drags on for hour after hour, the terrain is just the same kilometre after kilometre, that your mind starts to wander.......
Today's journey involved the 'Outback Outlaws' trying to kidnap us and on the approach to Lake Argyle, we were so totally outnumbered by the Comanche Indians looking down on us from the hill tops that someone with slightly less imagination is really happy we have at last arrived at the most voted for best campsite of 2015, Lake Argyle Resort, she is hoping to at last have some sort of reasonable conversation.......
There is a problem however, in about 3 weeks, we are going to do the same journey in reverse, it could be that Mad Max and and Will Smith in Independence day gets a mention...........

    View from back of van

    Lake Argyle

A campin we shall go