Revelation Day

So continuing on from the revelation that we are not really camping type people, it continues today with one revelation after another.......

Revelation 1. There are jobsworths all over the world, today one of us goes to the Dolphin 'Experience' only to get told off for standing still with a camera but being where they don't want him to be as allegedly, it will disturb and be off putting for the Dolphins.  So I move without question but two minutes later three workmen wearing hi vi jackets turn up and start to bang crash and wobble the stanchions on the jetty, but that's okay.....
Revelation 2. So the cross your legs toilet avoidance method breaks down at half nine, and I  have to give in and venture to the toilet block to find the cleaner just leaving, my fairy godmother is looking after me...... In I go, sparkling, so with out going into too much detail I am in a cubicle, when Harry, Luca and Louise come in and start to play.... It is when one of them starts to bang continuously on my closed door that I realise I am turning into someone close to me as I shout out 'BUGGER OFF'  a well know phrase used by said close person.........
Revelation 3.  Some local people have the right attitude.  We are out at Little lagoon a Bright Turquoise almost circular lagoon fed from a creek that leads to the sea, when a male Emu leads eleven baby emus across the creek.  We have just finished taking photos when a Land Rover type vehicle roars up to us and two Fisheries and Maritime officers jump out and captures the female member of the duo
whilst talking about a serious legal matter....... My ears prick up and if you saw the size of them you'd realise that's not difficult and so I'm on my way to defend/represent my partner, in demanding they do not keep her in custody for any longer than 60 days....... BUT they really only want to know if we managed to get a photo of the Emus crossing the creek as it could possibly be a prize winning photo that they could use in advertising Western Australia....... Their attitude is perfect, their demeanour spot on, their personalities bright and cheerful and so I ask for their email address and promise to send all the pictures onto them.
Revelation 4. Some local people have no idea......  We enter a Bakery/Cafe in Denham, I wait for, I do not feel at ease by referring to this person as a woman/lady as I feel it would be an insult to said persons, so shall we say a female human being...... To serve me but she has so much more important things to moan about to Mr String Vest with a big tummy who looks like he started his New Years celebrations several days ago along with said human being who obviously did not want to be open and working..... So as I placed my order whilst she was leaning all over the food display cabinet and she told me gruffly to go a fetch a bottle of orange juice from the glass fronted fridge on the other side of this 'Cafe' I also asked for a glass for it, OMG, Independence Day part Two...... We get a ceramic cup without a handle, instead and decide to sit at an unclean table as its the only one of the four left.  We leave half of what we ordered and walk out as female human being is coming back down to planet earth but still ranting on and on.....
Revelation 5.  There are some really dipstick parents in this world.  We go to Ocean Park Aquarium where they have lots of the local marine life, including Sharks, Rays and Sea Snakes in huge aquariums/lakes..... One of the displays is entitled Poisonous Fish, it contains Puffer Fish and Lion Fish, the puffer fish have a strong sharp beak and are deadly should you eat them, the Lion Fish are aggressive and have sharp spines that contain poison, the guide tells us all to avoid them, do not aggravate them and should you catch one whilst fishing, just to cut the line.....  So what does Moron Dad do when the guide moves on, he sticks his fingers in the tank, in front of the Lion fish teasing it, whilst his children are looking on..... What a great example of Parenting!
Sorry for the delay, just been off crabbing on the beach with family next door.
Revelation 6.  There are some really stupid people in this world.  We are again in the Ocean Park Aquarium when we approach a four foot marine rank with the usual fish and anemones in, the guide asks the children if they can spot Nemo the clown fish, some do and the guide says that this Clown Fish is exactly the same that stared in the film.  At this a woman pushed forward taking photos of the tank saying at the same time OMG are you kidding me, the real one. Click, click....
The tour guide found it extremely difficult to reply when he realised she was serious and everyone else just thought, Are you for real?
Revelation 7. It's news years eve, 3 hours left of 2015, so to you all a "Happy New Year" from us both.

Amendment to Revelation 1, Jobsworth 2, Just been asked to wear a 'Age Verification' wrist band in the bar, so bar staff do not have to ask how old we are in order to purchase alcohol........ Think I'll go to bed.........

    Whose a naughty boy then.......

    Western Australia's 2016 publicity shot.......

   

    Nemo, from cartoon to real life

    For Jackson and Luciano

Carnarvon to Council Estate

We are on the road by 7.30am saying goodbye to Carnarvon and Commiserations to those that are staying......  Heading South and three hours later we are in the catchment area of Shark Bay, I think it's time for a coffee, so instead of heading straight to the Stromatolites, we go to the 'Tea Room'. Now I just know you have a picture of a pretty oak beamed cottage in deepest Kent or Devon and are thinking, oh aren't they lucky to find such a lovely place miles from anywhere, in Australia.  Yes had it been that image, we would have been BUT we are here where a run down broken homestead/caravan park is trying to survive with a hillbilly sitting out on the porch of a dilapidated building that resembled the house that Steptoe and Son lived in......... Bill Bryson had been there and commented on the place, they had extracts on the wall, only I'm not sure that they have quite understood that he was not overly complimentary......... Still the Coffee and Tea was okay but the cages outside with nothing living in was slightly off putting........ However under one of the many leaking water pipes we saw our first Budgerigar that was not flying, together with wrens and a collard parrot all drinking al fresco, it was what we didn't see but heard under the tree next to it, that kept us from getting too close......
So there we are standing in the shell quarry, thinking this looks a lot like the beach between El Arenal and the Port at Javea, only whiter, only where here they cut out blocks of shells that have been compressed and use them as building blocks. Not that impressed so onward to the Stromatolites, which for those of you that don't know are things that grow....... They are alledged to be the oldest living known organism on this planet, basically they are a micro bacterial mat, made up from microbes which react with other organisms and make my brain hurt.......... Needless to say we took a photo and moved on to Shell Beach, where as you can see we took another photo......  Shell Beach is made up from not just millions but trillions/zillions of a certain type of cockle shell, this beach is 30ft deep and 110kms long, it's one of only two beaches in the world made entirely from shells with apparently 40,000 shells in a sq meter and one in my sandal, ouch!
Almost time for lunch, so we stop at Eagle Bluff, unfortunately the tide is out, so we drink tea and eat cucumber and cheese sandwiches with our little fingers sticking out, whilst the sea comes in and attempts to join us.  Out again and see sharks, shovel nose rays, sting rays all now coming in underneath us to feed, oh if you could have heard the squeals of delight, obviously not from me as I'm much to macho but needless to say we both want to return........
Now in February I booked up to stay in Monkey Mia resort for the new Year period, I booked it because of the festive season, the Australian School holidays and it looked nice.  Good job as it happens as when we get there it is obviously busy, only after checking in as we drive to our site, it looks like we are on some grotty council estate, it's a tip, with cars, trailers, boats, vans, tents parked all over the place and in our little bit, the men from 29 sites to use, 1 urinal, 2 toilets and 3 showers, OMG what have I done, I have now got to sit crossed legged until we go out tomorrow.......... Of course it's also got nothing to do with photo no 5, which is two feet from our front door......
This is depressing me I say, let's go for a walk, it's hot, it's sandy, and it's not the Côte d'Azur so into the bar, where after talking to two women travelling on their own and three pints of "Fat Yak" pale ale, we return to listen to the child telling his mother in the site in front of us, to shut up as she is being too bossy.......... Bite lip, turn TV on and listen to static and wait for 'Camp Quiet Time' as obviously they will all obey the rules........  We have decided, we are not real campers, we are playing at it and using it for a purpose, as I listen to the children screaming outside now as I type and watch people walk through our site to get to wherever,  we decide we have been spoilt so far by having the campsites almost to ourselves, long may it continue...........

    Stromatolites 

    Shell Beach

    Shells and only Shells 

    This is actually called a 'Nervous Shark'

   Come outside, come outside............

    First Budgy 

Holiday Part 2

We are in the computer shop before 9am and get a USB stick with our recovered files on, so then venture into Carnarvon with a smile on my face and a skip in my step until of course we try to get a coffee, closed...... So let's do grocery shopping instead, hmm not much on the shelves..... So into the Port Hotel for a Coffee where we meet the local constabulary obtaining a coffee but being about as boring as anyone can possibly be....... He is telling the Barista that he had his performance review this morning and the only criticism was 'You try too hard' which he was pleased with, he obviously did not read it the same way as I did.  My interpretation of it after spending a whole five minutes in his presence and listening to him droning on, was, 'Stop Brown nosing'..........
We order and sit outside, where we notice on the door a sign stating New Years Eve, No Dinner, Closed at 6pm.  I ask the waitress where or what is there to do for New Years Eve and she replies, "The pubs are open, well we are a pub as well but we don't want the drama and there will be drama" We are shocked, this sleepy little Town that is almost constantly closed may well have some sort of disturbance pending for Thursday night, let's hope someone is in exceptional form and does not try to please, too much.........
Next stop is Mitre 10, a DIY store, it looks like a small B&Q but in reality it's more like Arkwright's corner shop in Open all Hours....... We get what we need though, Silicon, and complete the repairs to my hat, I'm back in business!
48k later up the road, on a beach with about 12 people on, we bump into one of the couples we shared our bottle with last night, catch up on all the latest gossip, including the fact that whilst at Coral Bay, camped opposite us, he found a snake under his car, which due to it being venomous someone else had to remove..... Squeak!  We used to walk across his site in the dark to go to the bathroom....... Tomorrow new batteries for the torches........
Tide is coming in so we enter the sea at one end of the beach and get carried along in the current for about half a mile until opposite where we parked, nice snorkel testing go pro in anticipation for next few days, where we are hoping to swim with Dolphins.  After that it's a rush down South, through Perth and part two of the holiday will start....... Hope it's not as boring as part one! ...............

    Ibis Airways.....

    Banana and Custard swimming in yellow coral

Post Clampit's

As we pull back the curtains and peer towards the Hillbillies site, we see movement of what appears to be a positive nature, they look as if they are moving out.  A huge SIGH of relief is expressed by one of us, which sounded clearer than it should have done, we then notice that the fridge has stopped working....... Bank Holiday breakfast phone calls are made and we get a promise, someone will phone us back.......
Stop off at reception and ask to move site's, due to feeling uncomfortable with Hillbillies........
The reception of this request by the reception staff was amazing and after explaining why, they had no hesitation in us swapping sites.  During the next few minutes, whilst the staff remained professional, it became obvious, we were not alone in our concerns, in fact little did we know but security drove past them/us twice last night on a just in case patrol........
Next stop computer shop, closed, port hotel for coffee, closed, Fascine Coffee shop, closed.......
Look there are some tables with lots of people around, park up, grab a table and find ourselves in a 'Noodle and Sushi Bar' obviously operated by orientals but a sign states they also do take away coffee.  Within fifteen minutes we are sitting outside in the shade with a nice coffee, a bottle of orange juice with an expired best before date and two four day old muffins........ But at least it was open and doing a good trade due to everything else being closed.......
Now some of you may be wondering, why do they want a computer shop?  Well remember the day the iPad nearly grew wings, since then, I managed to delete the video file I wanted, whilst trying to make room on the iPad for it............ Even Rodney would find it hard to do that.....
So there we are phoning around computer repair services, there is only one in Carnarvon and we get a reply, it's the shop we had previously been to....... In we go, cannot promise anything but $72 later, we will find out tomorrow morning..... Fingers crossed!
We find ourselves later on a dirt road leading to a local beauty spot, down and down we go and arrive on the sandy banks of the River Gasgoine, just the place for lunch we say.  Half way through lunch the thought comes to me about getting back off the bank, up the sandy track and onto a hard surface in a two wheel drive Motorhome......... Needless to say with my expert driving skills it was a piece of cake or rephrased that should read with all the luck of the Irish and by the seat of my pants, we managed to do it with the van only reaching an angle of about 55 degrees......  So what do we do, we hit another dirt road and go to Chinamans Pool Nature reserve, it's just down the road and is obviously one of those places that is so local, no one goes there and yet it is beautiful.  It is apparently one of the few places the River Gasgoine comes to the surface as it's an underground river.........  As we are stamping (snake avoidance tactic) around the undergrowth suddenly there is this huge Indescribable  noise as easily 200 Corella's take to the sky screeching a warning to each other due to our presence, the sky was literally full of them, an amazing site and one we attempted to duplicate so as to capture on the Camera but failed miserably, so took photos of Black Swans, Ospreys, Bee Eaters, Ibis and Llamas instead.  Llamas! I hear you say, Yes, Llamas they were in the back garden of someone who also had a kangaroo, chickens, cockerel and dogs all within the same space.  Nothing ordinary about the folk in Carnarvon........
Back in time for the Spud you like social gathering and I am obviously out to impress as I have a shave.........  We sit down next to an Australian couple and then another couple we met at Coral Bay join us. Spud you like is excellent and everyone drinks the drink they had brought along whilst eating.  So the six of us are getting on great but no one is drinking and yet one couple have a Esky on wheels full of drinks...... So I commit the cardinal sin, I go get a bottle of red and invite others to drink from it, OMG, I have never heard so many pathetic " No, I'm alright" in my life, but when I start to pour it into their glasses they were suddenly elated and relaxed, this then allowed the couple with the Esky who obviously suddenly felt relieved to dive in grab a bottle and refresh their glasses......  I suddenly had drinking partners and a good night was had by all...... Hic

    Carnarvon Jetty from above

   Would you walk on this.......

    Black Swans

    Chinamans Pool Nature Reserve

Sunday another day of rest...........

Lady little legs awakes and is still not feeling on top of the world and now feels the strains of yesterday's tread watering to the Bee Gees song, Staying Alive........ Her efforts to keep afloat appear to have used a lot of different muscle groups, to those she usually uses whilst I wait on her..........  But she tells me she aches with a capital A, I of course am full of remorse and sympathy and reply, what's for breakfast ...... 
We depart Coral Bay after talking with neighbour for the first time in four days, it becomes just a tinsy wincey obvious that there has been an Xmas domestic dispute next door, he is no longer full of glowing praise for his wife, she always sits outside in the mornings to date but today she is very obviously inside the caravan whilst he is outside cooking breakfast for one, talking to me about how she would rather look at a picture of something rather than do anything  that involve activity...... During our conversation I get the feeling  he is going to ask for a family member camped somewhere else in the camp site to be able to move into our vacant spot next to him......... Whether it's a peace offering or just someone else he can talk to, who knows.......
We drive South and notice the landscape is changing, some of the trees have leaves on.......we are also hoping to find it cooler but it's 38 degrees before 11am, never mind I say, it's always cooler on the coast...... We arrive and I'm right once again, it's 37 degrees, on goes the air con......  Now last time we were here, mid November, Carnarvon was closed basically as everything we went to see or do was shut, now imagine what it's like on a Christmas Sunday, we saw more life on the road kill on the way here than in our lunch time drive around town. This could be a long three days........ Still we have the communal Spud + filling night to look forward to tomorrow, how to live it up Ozzie style.......  It makes you wonder, just what will they get up to at midnight on New Years Eve, it's three hours after their bedtime........

19.00 hrs news update.  She who was feeling unwell now feels better, she has regained her prowess in the 4ft of kitchen we have, has had the best machine wash of clothes, all holiday, so you would think she would be a happy bunny BUT 2 hours ago we were surrounded by a couple of families who appear to either be on their way or are coming from a Beverley Hillbillies Convention......... Only when our now healthy girl walked past them, saying "hi" they stopped, they looked, they scowled, they said nothing.  Jed Clampit would be a real bonus compared with these guys, needless to say I have been asked to double check that the van doors are locked tonight..........

    Carnarvon Starfish

   

    You again?

A Brilliant Day turns into a ........... Day

Someone awakes at ridiculous o'clock, tries but fails, so someone else is awake earlier than expected........  I blame it on the excitement of the day ahead, the early Xmas night and the huge amount LESS alcohol that was consumed during the day, someone else just says it because I'm a pain in the Ar*e.........
So we are first at the booking in point for our 7 hours at sea, so as to swim with the Mantra Rays, where we are quizzed upon our dietary needs, ie cheese or ham sandwiches. We select cheese, un-toasted, in the belief you cannot mess that up........
On the boat and a quick snorkel around some coral about  a mile and half out at sea, after yesterday's wind, to say it's choppy is a slight understatement, 3-4ft swell at times due also to incoming tide.  We manage it but get no photos or video as go pro says 'No SD card' which has what one can only describe as a detrimental effect on my mood as all the time I'm thinking, you Rodney, how could you forget that, even though at the same time I'm answering myself saying, I know I put it in the camera.  That snorkel becomes a blur to Rodney and me......
Out of the water on the boat and check the camera, the card is in it! Take it out put it in and it works, now my mood changes from elation to rage back to elation thinking it will be okay for Mantra Rays.......
Mantra Rays are slow graceful, gentle swimmers so crew of boat full of expectations for a successful swim.  Now obviously Mantra Rays don't know it Xmas but they do know how to party, it appears as only we could pick a day when a female Ray is on heat and has 6 male rays chasing her, this changes things in relation to her behaviour, no longer is she slow and graceful at the surface, she is not in the mood and is motoring along almost as fast as the boat and diving deep to try and avoid her so called suitors......
So what happens we dive in three times in groups, whilst the boat moves forward and drops off another group then returns to pick up the first group who missed the rays but have had to tread water for 10minutes in the previously mentioned swell.  One of us does not like this after bobbing about for this amount of time holding on to the other one of us and the safety swimmer and is so glad when eventually out of the water and on a bobbing boat, she calls it a day!
The other one perseveres this leap frog game twice more seeing nothing and is by now freezing, (what a wimp, a sensible wimp but wimp all the same) I only had a bowl of porridge to fuel and keep me going, he says........
So the rays are eventually seen, she has lost Four of them but two are still in for the long swim..... Only it's slightly deeper than normal so all we get to see is basically shadowy figures.....
Not to worry let's have lunch, I get mine first, a processed cheese slice in between two slices of I toasted white bread....... I am of the opinion that somewhere in the Indian Ocean are several satisfied little fish who may have thought that processed cheese sandwiches are a treat......
The co-participant of this blog was by now feeling slightly queasy, so another round of sandwiches floated away from the rear of the boat........
In for another snorkel with a camera that is working, it's an okay dive site but I am shivering so much, I have to get out early.  When we watched the short video back later we delete it because of the camera shake being so bad........
Final dive and it's the best, I'm in a wet suit, camera working and it's a stunning dive site, no wonder they kept it to last, we see a shark cleaning station, this is where the Sharks come to be cleaned of parasites by fish in the knowledge that the Sharks will behave themselves whilst at this site. Possibly ten sharks some being 10 feet long are swimming 15ft below me, all of it recorded on video, hooray....... Then we see Turtles, one being a baby all recorded on video hooray. Out we get elated and biscuits arrive, they are put down behind us, now I'm not sure where I learnt this bad habit but my hand flew over them and was like a JCB excavator...... 
An hour later we are ashore purchasing the DVD of the trip, someone, no names but SHE believed my camera may still not work so wanted it, what she wants she gets, so as she said, "I'm going to buy this with your money".......
So we have had some ups and some downs but get back to the van and decide on a sleep for one whilst the other showers.  I get back and say stay there it's going to take ages to download 40 minutes of video to the iPad.  Connect up and an error message is displayed, 'insufficient memory to import video' at this point obviously being the restrained calm person I am, I just managed to stop throwing the iPad across the campsite....... As such someone else failed to get anymore rest whilst advising me, my plan to drive straight to Perth airport would involve driving at night and therefore unsafe and that tomorrow I would feel totally different about things, have a  glass of wine instead, she said, besides what else can go wrong........
Yesterday we decided on skipping the mince we were going to have and just have Xmas pud with custard.  Which whilst not being the typical Xmas Dinner, we enjoyed, hence being able to go to sleep so quickly and early.  Now having only consumed porridge and biscuits all day, we decide, tonight Mathew, we are going to have mince.  The little lady chef gets on in the 4ft kitchen we have whilst I'm playing with DVD and Tv.  Dinner is served......... I said nothing, whilst the Chef was, shall we say rather critical of it and placed it in another receptacle that would not be travelling any further with us....... I ate mine, hunger being the driving force but shall we say, it was a fitting meal for the end of a Cr*p day...... Time for a glass of Red.!
Happy Boxing Day, at least we did not have to go to the sales.........

PS: Seeing as the reason for my negative pre wine mood has to do with cameras, videos and photographs, the photos below are from the DVD to give you some idea of what we actually saw but unable to produce our own record of the events.

   

Coral Bay Christmas Day

Well our day starts off at 5.15am, when her with the little legs had to get up, whilst regretting the amount of grog she consumed last night. The sun is not quite up so I decide to accompany our little lady under the assumption that no one else will be up and about. Three minutes later I am caught in just my underpants in the middle of the campsite by about 10% of Coral Bay......... All I can do is wave and wish them a Merry Christmas and No there are no presents in my sack........
Back to bed whilst all around us people are starting to move from one site to another for the Xmas morning opening of presents and consumption of beer.......  We later see rather too many of said people returning with a disappointed look on their faces.....
Not for us, we know what we have got, two cards to open........ One with a gift inside, thank you Mum & Dad Xx. Your gift and others will no doubt arrive sometime in January, as yesterday we got a phone call from the taxman before he finished work for the day at 13.00hrs........ Ho Ho Ho!
There we are having our Christmas Breakfast of porridge with cranberries when the camp site starts to empty with everyone going to the beach.  Now being the shy reserved and conservative type, I am immediately over there to with a telescopic lens.....
Is it? It can't be! It is, it's Santa, he's just arrived on the beach by speed boat....... He's not alone, he has two bikini clad elves to help him ring his bell....... Sets camera to sports mode, five frames a second........
Off to Skeleton Beach, to swim with the Sharks, we have the beach to ourselves, no phone and it's half hours walk away from Coral Bay. Are you sure about this I get asked, "Of course I am, if it all goes horribly wrong, tell them I tripped and the insurance should pay out........."  Gently does it as I enter as stealthily as possible not to frighten the 20 sharks that are swimming around searching for something to eat.  One fish we see jumps and clears the water four times in succession to avoid lining a sharks stomach.  I'm closing in on them 10 feet away, 8 ft, 6ft, 4ft go pro filming in outstretched arm and with a sudden flick of a tail fin, I am left in a cloud of sand, which is recorded perfectly on the camera, whilst the shark is now 20ft away.  We play this game continuously for half hour or so before I concede defeat, Sharks 20, Steve 0.  Then l try the stand still and wait for them to come to me game, where is their festive sprit, they approach numerous times inquisitively but when at 3-4ft they have it away on their fins as their senses are telling them, there's a plonker out here in his underpants again.......... Yuck!
As we walk back along the beach disheartened but with all limbs intact, we notice it is so much busier than before, there is now Gazebo after Gazebo lining the beach, all of which look like they have the entire contents of a Tesco Express inside, one even has a 15ft inflatable Santa Clause outside it and then there's the man singing "it will be lonely this Christmas" sitting on his own, reading his book.........
Once  back we view video after video of suspended sand particles in the sea and decide on Xmas lunch of a toasted tuna sandwich, which I eat in its entirety, no leftovers for tomorrow's curry........ What would you like to drink, I am asked by the chef as she is watching family after family opening their eski's for a cold drink, arriving at the beach by car with cans or glasses already in their hands, wandering around camp with a can or bottle in their hands and I reply, a nice cup of Rosie lea, please.  
We decide on a post lunch walk to burn off the Xmas lunch excesses, follow me, I've never been in the scouts...... Up over the dunes we go taking our lead from Google maps, only they don't show fences....... See it wasn't that hard I say as she manages to stay upright after dismounting a wobbly old metal gate, we then follow a path to the boat ramp, during which time the tide has turned.  Half hour later we walk back along the shoreline, fine at first but then after causing consternation amongst the Christmas crab community, we are looking at getting our feet wet, unless of course.  See I knew you could do it, I'm not that heavy after all, I say to the lady who is huffing and puffing........

Merry Xmas to you all, hope your day is as special as ours was as we have never had a Xmas Day like this one before and possibly won't have another one unless, New Zealand 

    Festive playmates

    Smile, say Fiiiiiiish.......

    

     It'll be lonely this Christmas, lonely and ...............

    Santa with Shades..........

    Motorhome Decorations........