Is this Oz or the UK

It rained during the night and after awhile you get used to the old torture method of putting you in a tin can whilst it is being water bombed....... Somehow we awake refreshed, step out of van and squelch, we are parked on grass and it appears we have had a lot of rain.......
It's also a bit cool, 16 degrees, it's the first long sleeve job since we have been here..... 

What to do in Albany on a wet day?  We start off by going to the National Anzac Centre, remembering the 41,000 Australians and New Zealanders who set off from Albany to fight in the First World War, it's not really for us but keeps us dry for an hour or so.  It also makes you question the makeup of the Aussie male, they travelled thousands of miles with and fought alongside Aborigines who enlisted with them but when they returned they shunned them, even the Government treated them very differently but then I think of the way the UK treated the Gurkhas, perhaps it's something in the ancestry of Aussies that's responsible?  Right, off to the 2 lookouts, one being the most visited lookout in the region, from where families watched the 1914 convoys set sail but the cloud is so low, we are in it and can see nothing.  

Next it's off to 'The Old Farm, Strawberry Hill' in the publicity pictures it looks as if it could be in Surrey/Kent, we get there and it's still raining, do we really want to walk around the first historic homestead farm established in Western Australia?  Not if we cannot walk around the 'Beautiful' gardens.  So we drive straight back out and go for an early lunch in an out of the way secluded lookout, fine until we start getting single guys drive up, get out, walk around in the rain, looking a bit shifty according to the wannabe PSCO, (they would not make eye contact ) and then drive off after doing nothing whatsoever.  

Okay then it's the Brig Amity for us, a replica of a sailing ship that brought the first European settlers from Sydney to Western Australia.  We smiled most of the way around, thinking "We paid money for this" and then went back up on top deck, two families arrive and fluff about so as to ruin any chance of a photo.  They appeared even less impressed with the Amity than us as they left not long after arriving, that said I feel the fact you had to climb down some stairs backwards, through a two foot square opening and then walk hunched up on the middle deck, even her of the height restriction had to bend at the waist to walk...... May, due to their build, have had some bearing on their decision.........
Next stop is the Old Gaol, a building saved and restored by the local historian society, one of whose members was inside collecting the entrance fee, this rain is beginning to cost us dear!  However he takes it for granted we are 'seniors' so we get a 50% discount on the entrance fee, yes that's the equivalent to £2.50 saved........  For first ten minutes it's fine but then the family with three young children arrive, why bring three children all under the age of 7 to a place like this, they were not interested one iota.  All they did was run around, shouting, calling for attention, touching things that should not be touched and generally being a nuisance, the mum did what all Mothers do and tried to control them but in doing so also added to the noise, the dad did what it appears all Australian dads do, he ignored them...... He walked around as if he did not know them and if they approached him, he would pass them onto their mother, we have seen a lot of this type of behaviour and it's as if because he is on holiday, then he does nothing, whilst the wife/mother has to do it all.  Still we saw photos of Albany a 100 years ago, what surprised us is, that even though we had been in the town centre once a few days back, we immediately recognised it from the photos, it has hardly changed, the main buildings and a tree are the same, progress stops in Albany with new car parking bays.........
We look up what's on at the cinema but it's all children's films (still school holidays) until 20.30hrs so back to camp site pleasantly surprised as its 5pm, we notice because, as we pass the pub there are a dozen Utes parked up outside........ With that it sounds like a good idea to open the fridge and test whether it's keeping the liquids chilled........

    Lookout for low cloud

    Brig Amity

    The realistic historical interpretation of the Old Gaol Warder........

Sedately Sunday

We slept a lot better last night in our new spot away from the thumping doors and by the time I have the kettle on, most of our fellow campers are up, eating breakfast, packing up, letting toilet doors slam or walking about in their PJ's.........  Now whilst the odd one in their PJs may be okay the majority are enough to make you choke on your super smooth extra creamy porridge......
Still it's Sunday and so whilst I'm out grafting, organising an extra day's stay and generally being a nuisance to other campers, someone else is........... See picture below!
The forecast is rain but it's sunny at the mo, so quick change of plans and we are off to Little Beach in Two Peoples Bay Nature Reserve as its reportedly one of Western Australia's finest beaches.  We arrive and yes it's okay but we happen across another smaller beach over the rocks from it, WOW!  It is my all time favourite looking beach so far this holiday, not a soul on it, the sun comes out to add colour, the sea is calm,  it is easier better in my opinion than Little Beach.  I speak to a local fisherman who explains they call it Waterfall Beach as in the winter when it rains a waterfall forms and runs down on to the beach, he also explains that on New Years Eve this year, someone letting off fireworks caused a bush fire that burnt 1200 hectares around these two beaches, hence the dark bits in the photos.......
It starts to cloud over so we head in land to Porongurup National Park, get there to find it's basically several huge lumps of granite with trees growing around them, a few trail walks, sky walk bridge that connects two granite rocks after a two hour walk up hill and that's it, except for 'The Tree in a Rock' I kid you not, this is a tourist attraction and all it is, is a tree growing in/on/through a rock, we climb up onto said rock and find a family of Skink's living in the tree, so it goes some way to alleviating our disappointment re said tourist attraction........
We drive around the park and see Trees, Trees and more Trees, no point trying to do the skywalk as cloud has descended and the view may be what we would consider insufficient after a two hour walk.....  So we find Porongurup Tea Rooms, in we go and we are served by a nice lady who looked like the sort of woman you would threaten little children with if they were naughty, so as to frighten them into being good......  Coffee is fine, tea is real tea leaves in a minuscule tea pot but comes with small jug of hot water and jug of milk.  Now I'm not a betting man but I'm willing to have a small wager to say this 'Children's Scarer' needs to consider purchasing some spectacles, as along the rim of the jug of hot water you could see five strands of a cobweb all leading to the bottom of the jug, where in the Center was a small white spider, drowned if not boiled alive.........  She who likes tea, only had the one cup.......
We step outside and there is a bird she has not seen before, that's it, next half hour spent up to our ankles in Death Adder territory getting photos of a Robin that looks like he has had a bath in a painters easel.........

    Hard at it........

    Waterfall Beach

    Little Beach

    New Bird.  "Scarlet Robin"

    Kept the best till last, 'A Tree in a Rock'

Rain stops play

Yesterday when we booked into this campsite, we thought oh that's a nice spot, clean, tidy and near to the bathrooms, I can be first one in after the cleaner has been.......
Then it started at 20.30hrs and continued until 22.00hrs, our fellow campers going to do whatever before they go to bed...... There are 8 units directly behind us, all relatively new with super spring loaded door closers, so as to keep out flies, moths, spiders and Skink's......  This meant that doors were being closed automatically as people went in and also when they went out with a slam, it was incessant and together with Isaac's mum who wanted to know if he was alright and the 2.30am lovey dovey couple, we had had enough.
First thing this morning into reception and change our pitch from no 8 to no 30 we are far enough away not to hear any thing now but have to guess when the cleaner has been.  It's a brilliant bright sunny morning so we head to Torndirrup National Park and head along with a multitude of others to the Gap and Natural Bridge.  This is where the sea has eroded away the rock over millions of years to form a 'Gap' and a 'Natural Bridge'...........  The Gap is closed until March due to a new state of the art viewing platform being erected so we head to the Natural Bridge and the notice boards actually tell you they are waiting for it to collapse, so do not try and walk over it........Killjoys.....!
We do the other sights, mainly beaches, Discovery Bay, Cable Beach, Goode Beach, The Blowholes and then Stony Hill, this being the highest point in the park and it's Stony...... It's a challenge and I leave her that does not like heights and within 20 minutes, I'm the plonker getting in everyone's photographs as I stand on top taking in the view, the fresh air and my own photos.  Next stop Misery Bay for lunch and the weather looks as if it's changing, right quick let's get to Whalers Cove so I can swim in the Southern Ocean.....
Whalers Cove has a publicity paragraph that states it is excellent for snorkelling, we get there but someone is not happy with a car of three men who are obviously not out for a day at the beach.  We are parked next to a sign stating " Look, Lock, Leave" Thefts have occurred in this area...... So we look, lock and stay, we make it obvious what we are doing, even recording their car reg number, they obviously Looked and saw us, failed to lock but then Left....... One happy bunny next to me, who wants to apply to become a PCSO when she gets back, I've told her she can't, they have age restrictions.........
And so, Mr G W Shark, you failed to have the tastiest morsel known to great whites today, I got in your territory, swam about, got bored saw 3 fish, had a leak and survived the Great Whites Southern Ocean, the first time I have ever been able to swim in it, result!  As for Australian Publicity propaganda, I should have learnt by now......
We get back to the van and find a note from the Police saying we had messed up a covert undercover operation.........
Not really, we hear the 'You are out of Red Wine alarm going off' instead, this we realise is an emergency as the Bottle Shops (The only places you can buy alcohol) are closed on Sunday's, so we do 62 in a 60 speed zone, that's 60 kilometres on a dual carriageway and go shopping in still wet swimming gear........ We get a bottle and I stop hyperventilating but then someone wants to go to Woolworths food shopping, now have any of you ever been in the chiller aisles wearing wet swimming gear?  It was freezing and I can confidently state that men you are never going to impress anyone in those circumstances........
The sky is black, thunder is rumbling and some serious lightening is occurring in the distance as we park up in our new spot, next to and under a sort of weeping willow type tree, no banging of ablution doors for us tonight, however now when the rain is falling and the wind is blowing the hanging branches against the van, instead of boom, thud, clump, tonight
we have scratch, tinkle, scrape........... Oh the joys of the life in the great outdoors........

    The Natural Bridge.

   Misery Beach

   Steve'summit.  Note the regeneration after a fire.

    Cable Beach

Over that bit of Sea is Antarctica..........

We depart Denmark and head towards Albany, this is the furthest point South that we are going, which is telling us something, ' You are on the final part of your trip '. We will be going further East, next week and that's where we turn around and start the final leg back to Perth.

So we are in Albany at 10.30, shower, cup of tea and back on the road by 11am.  We are going to a forest walk around a lake where someone is hoping to see her favourite bird AGAIN......

The receptionist at the camp site has warned us that as it's sunny, that it's around a lake, we will see snakes and more than likely, Tiger Snakes who will chase us if they feel threatened.  2.5 hours it took to walk around the BIG LAKE and we did not see the slightest hint of a snake but we did see enough to hopefully keep someone happy until she is 60yrs.......

As we did not know how long this walk would take, we are slightly thirsty and hungry so off to Emu Point, a delightful if crowded beach with an exceptionally highly rated Cafe.  Don't get me started about the scheming old lady that managed to push in front of me, grrrrrr!

Off next to the City Centre and a walkabout, problem is, it's not really a city as we know a city, so 20 minutes and we have done it.  We do a lot of window shopping and then to satisfy my short fetish, I buy another pair, I will see a therapist on our return.........promise!

Best part was, we are in Albany's version of Bluewater, only on a slightly smaller scale, it has almost 20 shops..... When I see a family walking along and the mother has a sling around her, forming a type of pouch and inside is a baby kangaroo......... It's having a great time looking around at the shoppers.....  We did see a tv program here where if you kill a kangaroo on the road you should always check its pouch to see if it has a 'joey' on board, if it has then to remove it and take it to a animal adopter, who will then nurse it until it can fend for itself.  Thought of doing the same with these pretty black with a red stripe down its back, spiders, could bring them home so you can have one each.....

Whilst browsing in one of the shops I see a picture of Dog Rock, that's it I think, you have seen Monkey Rock, Elephant Rock so let's give you Dog Rock, we try to find out where it is and eventually find out we have gone past it twice........ We return and a photo for your pleasure is shown below.......

It's Friday, it's Fish and Chip night so we head off and buy flathead, hake and chips from the most nasally high pitched Australian voice we have heard so far before motoring as fast as we can to a secluded beach where we end up sharing the chips with the local wildlife.........

And so now, back in camp where if I roll out of bed the wrong way I'm likely to be sharing with the heron below and that if we go out in the dark to take a torch as there are a lot of King Skink's living behind us and the manager did not want us to think they are snakes and cause a Stink....

    20 feer from my bedroom......

    Some of the Big Lake walk.......

    Dog Rock

Denmark Disaster Day

We awake to the good news that the fires around us are now under control, not out but contained, from there on in, it went down hill and we should have stayed in bed..........
Not a lot got done during the morning, simply taking it easy around town before boredom sets in and we are off to snorkel in a safe Southern Ocean spot called the aquarium via a stop at the Blueberry Farm for a snack disguised as a photo opportunity for someone with the local bird life.  We drive up and turn onto its dirt road which has a sign unsuitable for caravans and trailers, we keep going, yowsers, look at that hill....... The van struggles but makes it up and down the other side and then only just manages to squeeze into the car park.  We walk into a shed and wait, eventually Mrs Grey comes out, she has very long straggly grey hair, grey trousers, a grey top and a grey complexion, she would be perfect in a pantomime of the wicked witch, without a lot of help from wardrobe........  I ask for an iced coffee, "can't do that we don't have ice", she replies, de ja vu, I think........ We settle for Blueberry ice cream, Blueberry Cordial and a Muffin, blueberry of course...... She has pictures of blue wrens up and I ask if the wrens frequent the farm, "They used to but we don't see them so much of late, they use to be in the bird bath a lot". Someone smiles and sits down eagerly near the garden and waits and waits during which time we notice the silver tape tied to plants, the CD's swinging from things, the birdbath having no water in and a plastic bird of prey swinging in the breeze from a tree branch........ Perhaps this would explain why they are not seen so much of late......... Suddenly she is besides our table asking us "What have you seen?"
Are they frogs? we ask, indicating the roof cross beams, she replies in a tone as only annoyed people can "How many are there, there? " She then counts them three times, huffs and puffs and disappears, which is what we suspect will happen to the frogs, once we have gone......
In the car park a family have turned up, parked next to us, have all the doors open and are having a picnic in the car.......  Grudgingly they pull the near side doors to so we can reverse out, however A hole Jonny, a 17 yr (approx) is at the rear of the car with the side opening door open whilst he is changing his trainers, the fact that this large van cannot move forward without hitting him or the door is a fact that he is oblivious to or is just being awkward, we sit and wait with the rear audible warning from the van sounding, after possibly a minute, it seemed longer, his father comes around, looks at us, looks at his son and pushes the door closed half way.........  I now have to do a three point turn to get past them, down the exit and with a friendly toot toot and a wave with three fingers and a thumb clenched in my palm, we leave and head towards the Aquarium snorkelling bay......  2 kms from it we come across a gate blocking the road, it has two CCTV cameras and a sign saying 'Private Property'  ( a New Housing Project) damn that's put paid to that but how the hell are we going to turn around on this single track road?  I'm trying but failing miserably when someone is coming out. They open the gate, I roar through, start to do a three point turn in front of them and crash into the fence......... The fence is still standing and no sign of damage to the van so I give the couple in the car coming out a friendly five finger wave and get back out, result!  So we thought until an hour later when we had overshot our turn off to another bay by 18kms, we read that the gate was installed to stop vermin entering the site and the public still had access by pressing a electronic button near the gate........... We drive back the 18kms and turn towards Shelley Beach in West Cape Howe National Park, when we run out of road......... We then have to travel on the worst road so far this trip, it is dusty, seriously rutted, has pot holes, is hilly and is 8kms long, the van is shaken just ever so slightly, we cannot hear each other for the vans rattling noise, we get to the Beach lookout and decide no more, we are still 2 kms away from the beach which is possibly 200ft below us, that means easy to get down but we could be risking it getting back up and so I do my Chicken impersonation over a cup of tea and use the tea bags as ear plugs for the return journey............

    You have just blown our cover

    The Beach we never got to........ Shelley Beach.

    Wild Flowers from Shelley Beach lookout.

    Found him this morning on the grass verge in the Street.

Mediterranean Climate, you are having a laugh.....

Along this part of the Coast all the publicity hype states how wonderful the climate here is because it's similar to that of the Mediterranean.  It's January, which means it's the equivalent to July, well can I just mention, I have never known anyone on the Mediterranean in July to get out of bed just past midnight and get a blanket and then about 3am get another blanket, it was cold last night, think it got down to 13 degrees.  This morning, I started off with T shirt but ended up in Rugby Shirt whilst out looking for a certain type of bird someone wanted to see.......
We stick to the Coast, starting at Poison Point, now remember I mentioned about the Oz practical use of names, we get there it's on the sea and what a stink, we think it was rotting Algae but put it like this we saw nothing alive there and we stayed just long enough to reach the sea and walk back.......
We need some bracing sea air, so off to Lights Beach and I notice we are being followed, get there and not a light in sight, except for the blue and red light on top of the Police car right behind us, we pull in, they pull in, I get out they get out, I pull out my camera they say hello and go to the car we parked next to...........  We walk off and come across 4 black Cockatoo's, these guys are characters and it's almost as if they are playing with us, but then, you guessed it along comes the nutty woman....... She thinks it's Winter as well as she is wrapped up in a shawl, only it's now midday, sunny and warm...... She starts talking about the Cockatoo's being funny to watch, almost human at times and then their prehistoric look and a stuffed one somewhere whilst I'm looking at her wrist to see if she has a hospital name tag on it........
The Cockatoo's are off and we quickly follow walking along a sand dune path through the scrub only to suddenly come to an abrupt halt after being eye balled by a snake on the path who confused us with Mrs Nutty and made a very rapid exit.
Next stop is Monkey Rock, a prominent granite rock surrounded by forest that if you stand on your head after drinking two bottles of cider, wearing only a sock, whilst singing 'I'm a believer' you can see a monkeys features in the granite..........
We stop at Ocean Beach for a late lunch and watch the life guard watching two imbeciles in kayaks going further from the shore over 4ft waves and the youngsters on holiday jumping, diving through the waves as they break, oh it takes me back....... No, not to being in a kayak silly.....
Enough beach let's do the Harewood Forest walk and half hour later we find ourselves meandering along a path in between 45m Karri trees, with the paper bark falling all around us and hundreds of butterflies posing for photographs. We cannot tell if any thing else is in the forest as the falling paper bark keeps making a similar sound to that of an animal moving in the undergrowth..... I give in, let's go shopping....... 
As we are loading the groceries into the van, someone becomes unduly excitable, which I thought strange as she does not like broccoli, but no it's because outside the van are several fairy wrens grabbing an early dinner and so, I end up staying in a supermarket car park with my big one fully extended out of the vans window......... 

    Performing for the Camera

    Nutty Lady alert, Nutty Lady Alert......

    Monkey Rock

    Lights Beach

    Just a little rough for me today......

Do you want to know my Secret.........

"No!" I say, "I'll tell you it later"
Someone mentioned to me that 'Monkeys like trees' well eek eek, we're off to the 'Valley of the Giants' a forest of Tingle trees, where they have a 420 metre long Tree Top Walk on a lightweight suspension bridge, 40 metres (132ft) in the air........
We get to the park, shall I tell her now, I think?  Not yet wait until after we have done the Ancient Empire Walk through the bottom of the forest, which was going well until, the children arrived, why bring them on something like this when they are not in the slightest bit interested, just so they can run about make a huge amount of noise, spoiling it for those that want to be there? It's not just me that's unhappy with them, someone has had her photograph of a Blue Fairy Wren ruined by the child 75 ft in front of his parents...... Still it's peaceful where they are I bet, she says.......
Two tickets for the skywalk please and one minute later we are walking up the ramp, shall I tell her, no bit late now!  For those of you that are not aware, having little legs means you are normally always close to the ground, which should you have a fear of heights, is awfully useful.  However finding yourself walking up into the tree tops on a narrow metal bridge, when you have such a fear, means you might as well be wearing my underpants........  

Onward and upward she goes and gets to the first corner, where she stops, waits, gauges, assesses and looks at me with a face I've not seen before and utters the words, "It's moving" I reply "Tut, now you know my secret........"  
Yes dear reader, the whole structure sways, bounces and shimmies as you and everyone else are walking on it.  I advise my little lady with her head 137 ft above the ground, that it's designed like that, perfectly safe and is not as high as the trees I had climbed......
Oh the relief in her face, it still wasn't there......... But she persevered, carried on walking and did the whole sky walk without vomiting, she actually did a large part of it on her own as it was taking me much longer crawling around on my hands and knees with my eyes shut...... So CONGRATULATIONS Little legs, another achievement with a tick in the box........
Those of you that have been to Javea are aware that we look out onto a mountain called 'Montgo' and that it appears from some angles to look like a sleeping Elephant, with that in mind we go to see what 'Elephant Rocks' in Denmark, the town in Australia, not the country, looks like.  We arrive in the car park and what I like about the camper van is, before we set off, we can have a cuppa.  Now whilst sitting consuming said cuppa, along comes a couple, who appear slightly older than us and this is frightening, it could be me in a few days I mean years time....... They open the boot and put their stuff in, then get in the car via the front doors, sit there for a few minutes before starting up and reversing out in front of us and then whilst I'm pressing the vans horn, they drive off at a great speed of knots with the boot still open...........
Elephant Rocks is supposed to resemble a herd of Elephants paddling in the water, maybe I just was at a different angle but at no time did I see these large rounded granite boulders appear to be a heard of Elephants.  Notwithstanding that, it is an extremely attractive location and different because of the boulders, my photos do not do it justice, and around the corner is another equally attractive place called 'Green Pools' where a lot of families were swimming, I asked them about the water temperature and they all said it was warm, even though it's the Southern Ocean.  Might try it out for myself tomorrow........
And now we are in one of the nicest campsites of our stay so far, it's just outside of Denmark on a bend in a river, it's called 'River Bend' ......... This is something we have noticed, in how practical the Australians are with their street names, Library Rd, Beach Rd, Inlet Cres, Coast Highway, Rifle Way but we have never ever seen a ' Cul de Sac' and our favourite is the sign on the opposite side to a dual carriageway, " WRONG WAY - GO BACK "

    I'm a high flying, high flying bird.......

    Elephants paddling in the Sea.......

     Elephant Rocks Beach with two people on the middle rock, grrrrrrrr!

    Green Pools