Last Will and Testament

We are up and after driving 400kms almost all the way in the rain we arrive in Augusta, on the South West tip of Australia, where we go to our first choice of camp site.  We drive around it but it looks more like an Eco hippie commune, we decide we would prefer something a little more Conservative so end up down on the river bank surrounded by ducks and seagulls.  I think it was the toilet doors being shower curtains that made our minds up, which they describe in their advertising as " Our unique atrium-styled ablutions"...........

Now someone is not a happy bunnie, yesterday after being drenched by a wave, her camera also took part in the unscheduled shower, now whilst bunnie appears to have got over it her camera has had a short circuit and is refusing to work.  To rub salt into the wound we go for a river side walk this afternoon and she sees her favourite birds, the blue fairy wrens but alas only one of us has the means to record this moment..........  We call into the Visitors Centre and ask about Camera repairs or being able to buy a new camera, we wait for the lady to stop thinking, laughing, phoning her friends to tell them about our stupid request and then wipe away the tears in her eyes before she says, probably Perth or maybe Busselton or Bunbury, 150kms away.

We then try the shops but they are closed so tonight it's a 'whatever is left over omelette' but at least we have TV and the sun has started to break through the cloud, which hopefully will lift the temperature a bit, on the way here around midday it was 12.5 degrees and this is their summer..........

And now dear reader I come to the really sad bit and cause for the title of this post, the other day whilst out walking in front forging the way through the bush I constantly broke through cobwebs and the like, so much so that for hours afterwards I was brushing webs, spiders, insects, bugs and even caterpillars from my hat, face, neck, shoulder and down my shirt, well it appears one of them or something has bitten me or laid it's eggs in me.  Now I am sure you are aware of how non fazed I am about anything trivial to do with my health so before I get flown out of here by medivac and seeing the pharmacist tomorrow I would like to say thank you to you all, it was fun and my will is in the safe at home.  

Adios, Spider-Man.

    Outside our front door.

    Someones favourite bird........ Photo courtesy of...........

     Spider-Man is born........

Orca-smic

Up early, check weather, sunny but still windy so it's toast, tea and sea sick pill before we arrive at the jetty, there's movement on the boat, it must be on, now to find out if the wait was worth it.

30 of us climb aboard and we are told it's going to be rough, then bumpy and then choppy, as we pull out of the harbour, we suddenly felt it get different but we were on our way, cameras, go pro, charity shop clothes, extra sea sickness tablets and a packet of ginger snaps as they are supposed to help.

We have been at sea for 10 minutes before the first casualty falls foul of sickness at sea and she is right across the aisle from us.  Within the next hour half a dozen others are grabbing for foil lined bags provided by the charter company.  Neither of us are talking, me having my eyes fixed on the horizon whilst Julie is fixed upon something else, we feel okay, so much so I have arranged to take a guy to Albany in the morning so he can hire a car, come back for his family before going to get his vehicle which is stuck in the dreaded Cape Arid Park, the same one that we got caught in but he did get further in than us in his 4x4........ Thank god I was not stupid that day and went in further rather than turning around!

We hear some squeals and see our first Orca and join the rush to the rear, moving, wet deck of the boat and try and take some photos which from seeing what we did take, was not easy.......

An Orca then breaches at the back of the boat whilst I am there alone as every one has now gone up the front or on the upper deck.  This Orca having breached and appearing to smile at me must have realised my camera was under my Charity Shop jacket and I could not get a photo in time, he then dives right in front of me and goes under the boat just as I take a photo to remember this magical moment, it's of the sea where he had been, nothing else in it, just the sea........

We are then sailing into the wind when I hear two females scream, I turn around and see two women soaked to the skin after a wave had invited itself onboard, one of the women I'd never see before, the other has just cooked me porridge for dinner........  Her camera is drenched as well, I tell her time for the charity coat, she goes into the cabin to dry out but cannot get warm and what with the stuffy stale air she was breathing in, she never came back out to play.........

It then becomes a bit of a scramble at times with some of the 'Go Pro selfie pole mauraders' charging about the boat, pushing next to you and thrusting their cameras on the end of the pole into the water trying to get underwater shots.  However as we were at sea for 7.5hrs and they wanted everything recorded, their batteries were beginning to fail, so they turned them off.  That's when one of them, the one being the biggest pain in the Ar*e, thrust his down next to me as a Killer Whale was swimming alongside us just under the surface, I was so jealous as my go pro was in my pocket........ He was so excited as was his girlfriend who had now pushed in between him and me, then the whale swam away and he pulled his camera out only for his girlfriend to notice, he had not turned it on........ Sort of thing I would do........

Now having lasted 6.5hrs without too much of a health problem and that we are now heading back to port, I venture inside the cabin, to check on someone, there are bodies holding paper bags all over the show, some are lying down and two had not moved during the entire trip. I get a positive nod of the head and walk back outside, too late, I'm feeling the same, I grab a bag and what do you know, Good afternoon Toast........  I refuse to go back into the cabin but there is nowhere outside in the dry as the skipper has gone into warp drive to test out his new engine and propellers, They work perfectly and we are speeding back to port, sometimes with air between us and the water but I am now drenched from the spray, but I'm not going back into that cabin........

After 40 minutes I can see land and think was it worth the wait, at that precise moment I did seriously doubt it but now, Yes it was worth it, we must have seen 30-40 killer whales, some had their calves with them, a sun fish and I've probably lost weight......

    Mum and Daughter out of sight

    Wobbly fotos....

    Sun Fish

    Looking for a Sun Fish Lunch......

    Move over sis!

Any Good Book Recommendations?

We start the last day of waiting around by waking up early and hearing Wind......
Oh please don't cancel the cruise because of the weather, we look out and see blue sky but the tree tops leaning at an acute angle, only thing we can do at this time in the morning is put the kettle on.  We set off just before 10am to walk around town, via the estuary footpath, so as to eventually end up in the Olde Telegraph Station for a Coffee. We cross the road, I walk in between two trees and a voice behind me says "What's that" I bet you know before I've written it, it's a juvenile brown snake........ We watch, hop skip and jump with him for 5 minutes until he gets bored and disappears into the undergrowth, obviously the sun has brought him out and as he looked recently fed we keep a look out for more whilst also looking at the water and in the trees for someone to see new birds.  All we see are some Butterflies laying eggs and Pelicans taking off and landing which is when I think they look their best...... Unless flying in formation of course.......
We have coffee, call at the ATM and lunch back at the van before we set off in search again for the Weedy or Leafy Sea Dragon, we go to where they are supposed to be and due to the wind there is no chance of snorkelling or seeing them there.  We go past the Cemetery, now Bremer Bay is not a big town with a population of 250 people but their cemetery only has 17 graves/headstones in it, so it's either a very healthy place to live or no one stays here long enough to die...... 17 people tried it and died from boredom.......
We go to a sheltered beach on the other side of the bay where the sea is calmer and still no sea dragons but I do get checked out once again by a large sting ray who allows me to chase after him with GoPro until he has cleared the sea/beach of bathers, all of whom have legged it screeching "Stingray, Stingray" sounds like a tune....... I never heard them because of having my head under water but when I get out I get asked if I saw the Ray, I say yes, I was chasing him, got him on video, holding GoPro up with smile on my face.  I think I detected the lips of the huge bearded hillbilly man say something like "Dickhead" I'm not sure who he was referring to..........
Back to camp, shower, change and out to the well publicised fish and chip dinner at the sports club.  We drive up and there must be at least 7 cars in the car park, we walk in and are the only customers........ There are 5 women in the kitchen, a mountain of fish and chips already prepared, a huge table with a help yourself salad buffet, one man behind the bar with his co worker this side of the bar, two girls and five kids who had made three different types of cake that they were selling at A$2 a slice.  We order drinks and food and get some extra special service, I think they just wanted something to do....
As we are eating a few more people arrive but it is obvious, they are going to have a surplus of food left over tonight.  Now bearing in mind this towns population, that hardly anyone is here and we have been here four days, would it surprise you to know that we knew two of the people here......... We talk to one of them who is on a table with three friends and two of the cooks and she states that the Killer Whale trip for Sunday is cancelled....... I try phoning the organiser to establish if tomorrow's is still going but no answer and then we see the news on TV, a huge cyclone is about to hit the North West, where we have been, tomorrow and the winds are going to be felt down here on Sunday, so as of this moment we are all packed with our Charity Shop coats, our sea sickness tablets, ginger snap biscuits and are just wondering what that bottle of red tastes like, as tonight it's party night for some but for me it's a no booze tonight...........
So for us it's an early night and hopefully I'll finish my book which is just getting to the exciting bit, it's where Noddy goes into the Dark Dark wood.........

    Not so easy to see first thing in the morning

    Playing Hide and Seek, with something that could make it the last game you play......

    Take off......

   See the little fish on his nose, he kept following it around......

    Next years Butterflies being born.......

Ditchwater Day gets better......

We are still in Dull as Ditchwater Bremer Bay, it's still over cast and we have no idea what to do to occupy our time, except go to the ATM and withdraw the maximum A$200 and see if there is any way we can spend some of it, whilst there we could see if they have any bread less than a week old.  Good news and Bad news, we get there and they have fresh granary bread but the ATM is kaput......... We break into our last hundred and then go for coffee in the other campsite.....
Not only do we get the coffee we also get an hours entertainment as every time the lady comes out we joke with her about Bremer Bay, she cracks up with one of those infectious laughs, we laugh at her which causes her to laugh more......  A University professor on holiday on his own then joins us and it's almost party time, except it's 11am and we are on a Caffeine high only.
Now you may think at times whilst reading these posts that he, being me, has made things up or possibly embellished something, yes that may have happened slightly but nothing other than facts have been reported on these pages, my proof reader ensures that...... So what I am about to write is the truth, it actually happened and it was said.  Whilst partying as previously mentioned, we were told about an Abalone Farm just up the road, we had previously seen a TV programme about said farm, it's the only one, and how top secret their methods were as the Chinese and Asians pay through the roof for fresh Abalone and this company were making a very healthy profit.  So we are later in the visitors centre asking about The Weedy and Leaf Sea Dragons, more about them later, when I also ask about the Abalone farm.  The lady who was helping me was very charming and polite, she had even heard about us having to stay here for five days due to the Whale trip......... So she tells me, "You cannot visit or go around the farm but why don't you go and look at the buildings they are very impressive".  With that I return to the van and we suddenly see a Red Capped Parrot sitting on the electricity cables above us, someone has been looking for one of these for three days and there he is about to deposit yesterday's dinner on us...... 

We drive past the town Cemetery making our way to the 'Impressive' Abalone Farm, we turn a corner and there they are before our very eyes, the farm with the top secret method of providing fresh uniform Abalone, in what can only be described as Nissan Huts........ I am in fits, tears are in my eyes, I nearly go off the road, all I can think of is that sweet lady has had me well and truly over or she has lived here too long..........
We settle down and decide that one of us will go snorkelling looking for the Sea Dragons whilst the other will Crochet.  The Sea was not at its calmest but the draw of possibly seeing the Sea Dragons enticed one of us in, I could not concentrate and dropped ten stitches worrying about her out there in a 3ft swell.......... No sea dragons seen, it was too rough but a 4ft Stingray came along and swam underneath us, I did give his tail a bit of a wide berth, didn't want another Steve going down to one of them........
Came back on a bit of a high so took my chef out to dinner to the Bremer Bay Resort, which with one night left here and that has to be almost a non drinking night, I find they sell 'Guinness', tomorrow's going to be a long day........

    Red Capped Parrot

    Stingray

    Impressive buildings..........

BBB - Boring Bremer Bay

What can I say!  This is the toughest part of the holiday so far, killing the time and we have another two days to go............
We start the day sat outside having breakfast and watching almost half of those present packing up and pulling out, our neighbours walk past which kills about 20 minutes whilst talking, they have been here 18 days and have another 10 to go, we ask them what is there to do here for our three extra days and they suggest reading a good book.........They also tell us about the Pelican OP Shop, more about that in a minute, providing I have had sufficient to drink and can bring myself to tell you...........
We go out to buy some sea sickness tablets in preparation and of course to draw our daily maximum limit of $200, from the ATM, it's a limit imposed by the town to stop reckless spending by town folk......... We check out the bread situation which is dated 19/01, 8 days old, we, along with everyone else leave it on the shelves, this is because of a National Holiday following weekend, apparently...........
Wait a minute, one more gulp of beer and I'll tell you what we did next..........
We go to the OP shop, this is basically a charity shop run by volunteers that is open on Wednesday and Saturday mornings, boy are we lucky......... We go in and ask if they have any jackets/coats to help protect us from the possible elements whilst at sea on Saturday as it can be cold when you are leaning over the side giving your breakfast to the fish.........
We look around and one of the ladies pulls out this coat for Julie who tries it on whilst I'm looking through the men's items, I hear, "There you are it fits and will keep you warm" I turn around and see her in this jacket that is down to her knees and burst out laughing, I don't think the woman helping appreciated it but if I can I will get a photograph of her in it and even you Kathleen will smile at the very least when you see it...... Anyway it's all they really have that will keep her warm and it cost 4 dollars, that's £2 in old fashioned money.......
Now remember my reluctance to buy a T shirt (someone has done the washing now) well imagine what I am feeling in this neat and tidy affiliated shop to Steptoe and Son, when the same helpful lady holds out a lumberjack jacket that is lined for me, it's a medium, it's warm and it's 2 dollars, a £1..........  I ask if it's clean and she shows me where two other ladies are ironing items donated to them that week that they have washed, Sold I say but you can have it back on Saturday, fine just leave it in the box outside she says.
We get in the van and I say, "if I'd have known we were going to have all this extra expense, I might not have chosen to go on the cruise"
Next stop the Old Telegraph Station for Coffee, it's a 103 year old building that someone bought four months ago and is hoping to turn it into a restaurant / bistro.  The Australian lady owner is slightly reluctant to speak with us but her South African husband talks for 20 minutes or so telling us his plans, his past careers, where the local bird and wild life is located, about the building itself, it's made from the Australian equivalent of Tosca but it has red veins running through it and then most importantly of all, he shows us where his resident Huntsman spider lives...... It's just inside the entrance and he lets it stay there as it's a form of pest control, taking care of blow flies and the like.......
We're off next in search of the local wildlife around a lake and having been warned about the Tiger snake once again, we walk along the path through the undergrowth mainly looking down at our feet.  However we get to the lake without seeing anything whatsoever, including water in the lake, another failed expedition.  We then start to drive to the Fitzgerald National Park but cannot do it without at least 30 kms of gravel road, so cancel that idea, turn around and head back, when we find a skink on the road side that just sat about watching us, he was not bothered by our presence at all and we got photos of him showing us his blue tongue. 
Back to camp and our neighbours have packed up and gone, was it something we said or they did not want to be associated with a lumberjack impersonator......

http://sandjaustralia2015.blogspot.com.au/

Sent from my iPad

    This rascal is a minimum of 6 inches......

    On Saturday, your face will be the colour of my tongue......

Australia Day

We awake to find a lot of people packing up and going home, why come here to celebrate the night before Australia Day but then leave on the day itself?  Could be work I suppose but then why volunteer yourself to spend a National Holiday driving home?
So we have no TV reception, a just about phone signal, so the Internet should be available if we stand on a chair, in a clearing........
I'm bored, it's not even 10am, we have nothing planned for the day as not sure what will be open etc, so I get myself a bucket, fill it with water squeeze some shower gel in it and start to wash the van, hoping it will rain as per forecast......... No such luck, the sun comes out and whilst the van looks a lot better, the next time it does rain we are going to leave a trail of bubbles for sure.........

After I shower I go to put clean clothes on, OMG, no clean T shirt, someone has failed in her domestic chores, I put on a long sleeved rugby shirt, ten minutes later as we pull into the general store with the ATM, I am roasting, sweat dripping down my back, I cannot wear this.  I then did something I have never ever done before, a first in my life time, a once and only event, a never ever to be repeated occurrence, I bought a T shirt in a general store..........
We drive off to the Museum, just for coffee and a scone, as I said yesterday, the museum is full of old rusty farming equipment, old blacksmiths tools, old tack and saddlery items but then it has the fuel tank from the Spacelab which landed nearby after being jettisoned......... Someone in this van and it's not me, saw it and thought it was a roll of wire wool....... Honest she has not been drinking.......
We do a few bays/beaches but they are all full of 4x4 vehicles and gazebo's on the beach itself, it must be a holiday.....
We then feel the time has come to experience the ultimate high of a visit to Bremer Bay, a visit to the Wind Turbine......... At this point I find I am almost at a loss for words to describe our true feelings considering this publicised tourist attraction, however I think the fact that I got out of the van to record this truly memorable event and share it with you whilst the other person known as the little lady, did not even bother to get out of the van, may just help you understand how we felt..........
Next stop is the lookout tower, it's whilst we are here that we notice once again, just how many cars drive up and leave almost immediately with only the driver in.  Bremer Bay has a population of 250, why do so many single men want to come up and see the wind turbine.........
So back to Bremer Bay itself and I stop and talk to a fisher lady, who gives me the low down on Bremer Bay, the sand bank being breached, the opening hours of the sports club and the location of the towns pub, although I never asked the question burning my lips about the popularity of the wind turbine........
So back to the campsite and I revise our plans for next week, our final week, ahhhhhhhh.

Now someone wanted to know what was so special about the Whale Expedition, well for one its Killer Whales and possibly up to 100 of them gathered in the same spot.  Apparently every February - April the Leeuwin current is at its weakest and it allows hydrocarbons from the sea bed to reach the surface which causes crustaceans to release billions of nutrient rich eggs into the waters around this one spot which in turn attracts the killer whales, giant squid, sperm whales, whaler sharks, sunfish, shoals of tuna, sea lions, fur seals, pilot whales, dolphins and masses of sea birds. BUT the entrepreneurs of the world want to mine it somehow which will stop the wild life collecting in this one spot 70kms out at sea, for some reason all the advertising recommends you take sea sickness tablets before and during the voyage........
They only discovered it a couple of years back and it might not be there in another couple, so that's the draw for us, I only need one decent photo of a killer whale to look back on and I'll be well happy, as for the other person undergoing this sea sickness test, she's happy if I'm happy.......... Ouch!

    The entrance to the museum cafe, giving us a taster of what lies In store........

    Bremer Bay

   Be amazed..........

    The facts!

    4x4 hidden by trees

Dilemma Day

The eyes are open, the brain engaged but nothing else wants to move or get up, it's miserable outside, it's grey, it's dull, it's damp, it's depressing and the forecast is for it to remain so for the rest of the week.  It's Australia Day tomorrow and there are so many flags on cars, on caravans, tents, houses they are everywhere and it could all be wasted as nearly the whole country is going to be wet according to the forecast.  However we come up with a plan.........
If it's going to be wet, we will try and clean the van.  Once it's wet, rub it over with a sponge and then let the rain wash the muddy loosened dirt off.  We are driving to our next destination, Bremer Bay, when it starts to rain, I pull over, ask for a sponge, jump out and start moving the mud about that's stuck to the bonnet and front doors, to put our plan to the test.  
Once back in the driving seat feeling decidedly damp we drive to the next town and stop for a coffee and to check out if the plan works.  We are looking for somewhere when we see a sign, 'Ravensthorpe Motel' it looks like they filmed 'Psycho' the film there.  We go past and find the most modern building in town is a Cafe, we go in, get in the queue of one and await being served.  The lady in front of us is obviously a local who is leaving town, having received her order the guy behind the counter gives her a hug, wishes her well and then shouts out to his colleague in the kitchen that Maureen is leaving.  Out comes a dead ringer for, you've guessed it, 'Norman Bates' it's uncanny, he gives Maureen a peck on the cheek and then returns behind the scenes......
It appears to us because this empty cafe now has a Camper Van parked in its drive, it encourages others to stop, because within 10 minutes the place has a queue of eight people, the counter man cannot cope and shouts he needs help serving, out comes Norman and assists as best he can.  Once everyone has been served and are seated, we notice that Norman comes from behind the counter and only approaches the females he has served, puts his arm around their shoulder and asks if everything is okay..........  That never happened with the first guy we say and look up to see Norman come out of the kitchen with a handful of knives and forks, time for us to leave..........
We notice as we get back to the van, ignoring the screams from the cafe, that the plan has worked and we appear now to be driving a zebra van........
We get to Bremer Bay information and are immediately disappointed as the Killer Whale tours have been put off until Saturday, we are due to leave Wednesday morning, I ask if we were to stay what else is there to do?  We are not overly encouraged when the girl replies, There is 'Mini Golf' and the 'Wind Turbine' walk........... She also mentions the Town museum.  Nearly every town has its own museum and they are dire........ A knife and fork found from 1861, a tractor, early agricultural equipment, musical equipment from 1857, a shearing shed, a blacksmiths workshop etc etc.
Depressed we check in and contact the Killer Whales rep asking if they have anything before Saturday, "No" she replies. 
Dilemma! Do we stay in this boring place for an extra three days making five in total or do we forgo the possible once in a life time experience?  I ask someone experiencing a crochet euphoric high moment, what she wants to do and am told, it's a lot of money, you go and I'll stay here for 8 hours......... Now dear reader what would you do?
What I did is book 3 extra nights in the Campsite and two seats on the Killer Whale tour.......
Guess who's Crochet euphoric moment went higher........
We then take a drive around and find a beach which is the local surfing beach, we stop and watch the boys playing in the waves until, Eeeeeeekkkkkkkk, that was crawling on my leg I am told, "Oh you drama queen, it's only an ant" I say, "Yes! She agrees before adding "But it's nearly two inches long" ......

    Norman Bates Motel

    Surfing Bremer Bay

    An Ant, albeit a big one.........

Every Sunday so far has been........

Just a little on the quiet side with not a lot occurring and today has been no different.
We take it easy and instead of having a second cup of tea before setting off we decide to go to the local cafe to sus out what they have for dinner tonight, to have a coffee and meet the grumpy lady according to some trip advisor reviewers.......
We are served by a charming English girl on her travels around the world, with decent coffee and conversation, we then speak to a more senior lady and are soon sharing a laugh with her too, so no bad review from me.......
Off to what the publicity machine would have us believe is one of the greatest National Parks in Australia, we are not holding our breath on that as we enter Fitzgerald River National Park.  It's Beach overload with bay after bay of white sand and turquoise blue and white breaking waves.  We stop at West Beach which has a small amount of sand but incredible rock formations, these rocks would you believe we're once part of Antartica before Australia broke away and is still now moving 10cm a year away from that cold place down South.  We are thinking of having lunch when we stop and talk to two women, now some of you may well be aware of my finicky attitude towards anything grubby and dirty especially where personal hygiene is involved, so I'm going to look at this next incident from both sides, theirs and mine. 
We are talking to the two women when their husbands walk up and start to talk to us as well, fine to start with but then I notice something and one of the men does something which makes me sort of jump, I refrain from squealing and we say our goodbyes.
Now from the Australian guys perspective he may have thought, those English people are a bit weird, or he was a bit rude, what sort of behaviour was that, why did he move like that and then suddenly say goodby and walk away?
From my perspective when he walked up and started talking, I saw a 3/4 inch bogie hanging from his nose, I was standing down wind from him when he suddenly touched his nose, knocked off the bogie which then flew in the wind straight onto meeeeeeeeee.  Thankfully once out of sight and my little girlie dance, my trusty giggling partner examined me several times before confirming nothing untoward was sticking to me.......
We stop at a so called beauty spot for lunch and find one lady sitting at a picnic table on her own, I get out and start a conversation to find her husband had left her here an hour ago whilst he has gone off on a walk, saying he will be back in half hour.  I look at the board and point out the walk is described as two hours return, so whilst she may have to wait a bit longer, he is probably okay.  Lunch is prepared and we sit at a different table just as her husband comes back, I'm not taking any more chances.........  We get talking and find that he would love to move to Spain and live on the Costa del Sol, he is 70yrs, has had a heart attack, has a house here worth the equivalent to £200,000, has failed to maintain his Maltese passport and is married to an Australian who definitely did not give us the same vibe as to moving countries, especially with her granddaughter living in Sydney.   It was hard but we were diplomatic in that we encouraged him it may be better to stay here and travel instead, one happy wife who thinks this is an appropriate time to leave.........at which two kangaroos come up, sniff us out and then are off to find something not so smelly.  Now it's a good job they never sniffed us about 2hours later as we found East Mount Barren, yep you have guessed it, a pointy up bit of land higher than the rest around it. Only one thing to do, climb it.  It's steep and possibly the worst path I have been on, it's all loose boulders but half way up and the sun has gone behind the high cloud, great perhaps I'll cool down a bit, then it suddenly feels cooler, I look up and the top is now starting to be covered in low cloud. Common sense takes over and I phone for a helicopter rescue....... Chance of having a signal would be a fine thing....... So whist it Galls me to say it, I never made it to the top, taking my safety rather than accomplishment as the priority.  Bet my Mum says, "Good Boy" after reading that bit.....
We get back to camp and find someone has parked their car on our site, I ask around but no one knows, so we park in front of it. 10 minutes later a big gruff angry looking man with biceps the size of water melons comes up to me, I'm looking at the fire in his eyes, his nostrils flaring when he goes to say something but before he can do so, I lift my sweaty armpit up, his flared nostrils pick up my manly macho half a mountain climb odour and he moves his car........

   The National Park local plant, Royal Hakea.

    One of the views from half way up East Mount Barren

    Australia being pushed away by the waves......

    Beach Overload and yet tomorrow we are going to be camping almost on another one.

There are Good Days, Bad Days, Good Days and then Today

This is it! The beginning of the end, today we start our journey back to Perth and the journey home.  Two weeks today and I'll be singing "Happy Birthday" to someone who will be starting a new decade and hopefully making breakfast.....
We head off early hoping to get to Hopetoun before everyone else, that way we can look at the two campsites and decide which is best.  There are two routes, one on the main South Coast Highway and the other on the scenic Southern Ocean Road, we decide on the latter after reading that the Scenic Southern Ocean Road was in the process of being sealed ten (10) years ago and checking the tourist maps of both routes which clearly shows the roads as a solid line, indicating they are a sealed road. Seventy Three (73) kilometres of sand, dirt, gravel later we get to Hopetoun an hour and half later than had we chosen the other route, why do I constantly believe the Australian publicity, why do they always exaggerate?
Again if you notice I used the word Scenic in describing the said route, that is some blatant plagiarism from the tourist brochure, Scenic my ar*e, it was the same old trees, shrubs, bush that we have seen all over Australia only on a white sand heavily rutted road. Road, that's a laugh, at best it could be described as a path, it was the noisiest most uncomfortable bone shaking journey either of us have ever undertaken.
Now just in case some of you think, God forbid, that I am prone to a slight bit of exaggeration, I should point out that, the lady next to me, proof reads every blog and if she does not agree with something, it gets discussed and then taken out, unless it's so obviously over the top only a dummy would take it as real, you know the sort of thing don't you!   So all that you read, well 99% is pukka and as soon as she has stopped shaking from today's journey I'll get her to proof read this so as to authenticate it as almost the truth........
We arrive in Hopetoun and go to the first Campsite, where we are greeted by a Jed Clampett impersonator only with a long grey pony tail, he can accommodate us, so we agree pay him and he calls his mate to take us to our site, whilst he books in two more Clampett look a likes......
We get to the site and the guide starts burrowing and scrambling about in the bushes looking for the electric supply, whilst telling us to watch out for one of the four poisonous snakes they have here........ He cannot find it so we go to another site and set up after declining a site next to some really sorry looking people, it's then as we look around we realise we are basically camping in the bush, it's just a piece of land that has had some trees cut down to make paths....... We decide being this close to nature is fine for two nights as we should be out all day tomorrow and go in search of the bathrooms, which we were told were "over there with the roof on".  A hillbilly male approaches us enquiring what we were looking for and for the next ten minutes, helps us with local knowledge and anything else we questioned, he could not have been more helpful or considerate if he had tried and had it not been for him spitting out his chewing tobacco, we would have invited him back for a drink..........
We go in search of the Seals and find them basking in the sun on the rocks just off the jetty, the sea is so clear you can see the bottom clearly at 20-25ft and the fish nibbling at the bait on the fisherman's  lines.
Next stop, coffee in the cafe we saw as we entered town, sorry Closed.  We walk further up and find a hardware shop with tables and chairs outside, a sign states coffee etc we go in and there is a young girl vacuuming and another lady sat eating a pizza at a table inside, I ask my tea total partner what she would like, "Orange Juice please" at which point we hear the lady eating the pizza say to us, "you can't, I don't have enough oranges"   Now you may want to skip the next two lines..... We turn around and see the half chewed contents of pizza lady's mouth and a piece of pizza escaping from her mouth hanging on her chin, whilst she is explaining, not enough people want fresh juice so she is going to stop doing them.  We turn away and notice everything to eat on display is cling-filmed, so subconsciously send each other subliminal messages, don't order anything, there's a good chance it's not fresh........  We have already asked for an iced coffee and a bottled drink, so I ask for a glass to drink the contents of the bottle from as we are going to be seated at a table, she replies whilst chewing "No but we have a straw"..........
We get back to camp via a walk along the beach and through the bush and check out the ablutions block, 'What the ......'  They are cleaner than a lot of others we have seen at this time of day, so I'm hoping I won't get called Stinky, tonight...........

    This is Whistling Rock, personally I think it's more Dog, than Dog Rock......

   The Australian Countryside...........

    Hopetoun Beach

    Basking Seals might get a visitor tomorrow with waterproof camera.

   Yesterday's Beach Kangeroo.

Oooooooooo! The Aussie's don't like the latest survey........

We awake as its so bright in the van, blimey have we over slept, No in fact it's only 6.20am but the sun is shining through the back curtains, that's a good omen I say as someone else buries her head under the sheet....  Watching Breakfast TV and they give the result of some Swiss survey about the best countries to live in, UK came 3rd whilst Australia came 6th........  They do not like it but only mention the beaches and the sun versus the English rain as to being their reasons, nothing about Culture, Sophistication, Country side, Comfort, Professionalism or the ability to buy whatever with ease without travelling miles. Yes I agree that in some of the cities there are some of the things I mention but in the main, in the Towns, no chance...... I for one would not give up the UK for Australia if Spain decided they did not want me, that is.
An example of what I mean is, in the publicity brochure for a beach that has been voted as having the whitest sand in Australia it states, " make sure you have a barista coffee on the beach at Lucky Bay with Lucky Bean Cafe". Now what sort of picture does that conjure up in your mind?
In mine and you would think I should have learnt by now, I had visions of a wooden building with an outside veranda overlooking the whitest sands possible, with several Costa Coffee type Baristas rushing around preparing meals, drinks in a comfortable dining environment, no not quite, we get the Aussie version:

Anyways we set off for Cape le Grand National Park, it's Sunny, it's dry and it's all on sealed road, whilst en-route we get to pass another publicised tourist attraction, Esperance Stonehenge, a replica of how it looked nearly Four thousand years ago, it's basically in a farmers back yard and it costs 10 dollars to have said look...... 

Just a bit further down the road we see this letter box:

We also see some stunning beaches, that in our opinion certainly on the day and it did rain yesterday, has whiter sand than lucky beach, what lucky beach did have was kangaroos on it, they were wild but obviously used to humans as they approached anyone who was eating and allowed you to pet them......
So after we had managed to stop giggling like school girls at the Barista Coffee Cafe had a walk along the beach we decided on lunch being at Frenchmans Peak, a Granite peak of 262m with a 'hole' cave passing through it at the top.  Only one of us wants to do the climb and so I set off on what is described as a gentle slope...... This gentle slope has my heart beating at 168 bpm and I am certainly puffing, it's the steepest lump of rock I have ever walked up, there is no path it's just a wall of rock, much more so than Javea's Montgo....... My heart beating at that rate was all due to the exertion and had nothing to do with the well endowed young lady in a bikini I met at the top......
We get back and go Sea lion and Seal hunting on the Great Ocean drive but fail miserably so with the prospect of going somewhere grubby for a drink we decide against it and go back to watch Friends on TV with a beer from the fridge, when I'm told in the nicest possible way, " You Stink " I forget the beer and shower instead............. 

    Frenchmans Peak

    Hellfire Bay

When you wish you had stayed in bed.....

The rain continued last night and whilst we did not have a power cut we did have what sound like 10 Hippopotamus dancing on our roof several times.
Now you know those mornings you wake up and the weather forecast is still heavy rain and you think what shall we do today and you then make a decision which at the time seems a good one but 8 hours later you are deeply regretting it and wished you had stayed home in bed, today was one of those days.........
The decision was based on the fact that there are two national parks in the vicinity, the nearer one being the better and more accessible and the forecast for tomorrow being dry, it made sense to do the further one today in the damp.......
No rush, we have all day, we may not get out of the van all day because of the rain I say but it's 130 kms away anyway.  Look it up on the map and decide on the route that has the biggest solid lines indicating sealed roads and off we go, with Leona Lewis singing to keep us company.
We go through the 15,000 kilometres in total so far mark with no problem, we go through the 100 kms from Esperance mark with no problem and are happily singing along to Leona when we see the reduce speed sign, as we are approaching road works.  No problem here as we have gone through this loads of times, the road works appear to be a re sealing job as we suddenly hit dirt, only its wider than the sealed road so, maybe they have problems out here I think.......
Now in the UK you normally have workmen, machinery, vehicles and CCTV cameras at roadworks on a main road, here there is nothing, I drive 10 kms on dirt, wet dirt soggy dirt and not a soul, this must be a big roadworks and everyone and thing is at the other end......
We start to hit ruts in the now mud, the steering becomes just slightly more in control of me at times than I care for and our speed is reducing. I can hear the quiet whispers of guidance being delivered to me calmly from the seat next to me, something along the lines of " DON'T STOP, KEEP MOVING, DON'T REV IT TOO MUCH, STAY AWAY FROM THE SIDE" like I say without a hint of panic, whilst I sitting there thinking, "Oh Shit!........."
And then we stopped............
Now in normal circumstances, best thing to do is put the kettle on and have a relaxing cup of tea, unfortunately, we did not do that, we tried to move forward and then tried to move backwards and what we actually did was dig holes with the wheels........  We are stuck!  No doubt about it this is going to take some sort of divine intervention or better still a tow truck......
I reach for my phone whilst the little angel that was sat next to me is turning into a muddy Sheila until I mention we have 'No Signal' and she becomes a filthy devil, I thought she was going to try the super human strength bit and lift us out.   With no regard for our safety and snakes sheltering from the rain, we start to drag broken branches and bracken from the road side and stuff it under the wheels and flattening the mounds of mud we had created whilst trying to get out.  It looks good so I tell the little devil to push whilst I drive and then if we get moving to run and jump in the van as I can't stop.......  
We start up and try going forward, move a good two inches and that's it, that's when I found out she was not pushing, she was in the passenger seat adding to the weight of the van.......
We start rocking the van backwards and forwards and after creating an indent of about 6 inches either side of the wheel, we suddenly move forward and out of the rut, after 20 minutes of stress a huge sense of relief floods our bodies we look at what's in front of us and the anguish floods straight back......
Just then two 4x4 Utes come blazing along, see us moving and give us the thumbs up before disappearing over the horizon........
After about another kilometre we see a sealed road up ahead, we continue and make it only to find it's about 30 yards long before disappearing and the road becomes dirt again.......
Decision time again, carry on or go back, kettle on or not, clean ourselves up or not........
Wash hands, turn around (at least we know what that bit is like) and will have tea later, the sooner we start the better, never mind the blood pressure.......
We're off and it's starts raining heavier, "No not now" I scream but we are doing well but both of us are thinking where was THAT spot and will we get passed it?  There it is and it's fair to say the van started to reduce speed, it did not travel in a straight line and there was no foul smelling odours inside the van but we got past the boggy bit, continued to keep moving until we found some tar-macadam again, pulled over and had a de stress lunch......
We get back to town and head for the nearest pub but it's typical Aussie, disgusting....... I grab a table with a view and have to brush the last persons food off of the chair, and even though the table is reserved for half five by four people for dinner, it's sticky, grubby and dirty with smeared wiped drinks and glass/bottle marks, Glug Glug, let's go back to camp site......
And so I find my self back on the bed thinking, should have stayed in bed today watching the news about the rain being particularly heavy last night and a Road Train that got stuck in floods nearby but wishing and hoping it will pour down again tonight as we have just won the dirtiest camper van in Western Australia prize....

    Just before we got stuck

   One of the stickers......

    Thumbs up

    Going through the puddles just prior to getting stuck and why we now have a brown van....

Rain stops play, part 2.

Pitter patter, Pitter patter most of the night and we awake to a grey morning, take our time and by the time we are heading for the Great Ocean Drive, backwards, it's beginning to brighten up.
We get to the pink lake but it's grey, no sunlight on it, get to our first beach and it's flat, dull and damp, however by the time we get to Twilight Beach the sun is beginning to win and the sea is becoming blue.  We stop and talk to a couple and then find out they know Javea well as they have a place out in Murcia, by the time we have finished discussing campsites and places to visit, the cloud has gone and we see Twilight Bay in all its glory, no wonder it won best beach in 2006......
We carry on doing the other 6 beaches, all of which Esperance is proud of before setting off to the Kepwari Wetland Walk Trail.  It's down a gravel road overlooking a lake so we stop here for lunch and although the sun has gone it's still bright.  Now officially birdwatchers are called 'Twitchers' and some conjure up the picture of 'Anorak's'.  Well all I can say is After this afternoon, I now have half membership to the club, so just call me Twit and boy could I have done with an Anorak..........
We set off in shorts, t shirt, sports sandals and camera, I leave the camera case with its built in waterproof cover in the van and after 35 mins of walking through what can only be described as dead bushland we come across  a bird hide and take a seat inside.  After a while there is quite a lot of activity on the lake, especially when two eagles fly overhead, never seen so many ducks poo themselves so rapidly....... And then, Pitter patter on the roof of the hide, I remember that sound I say and look at the lake to see it's raining, just slightly so a decision is made to wait it out before calling it a day and rearming to the van.
It starts to Thunder, it continues to thunder only now with lightning, the rain gets heavier, the sky gets darker and the noise on the roof gets louder........  We wait ten minutes and then decide it's got to be done, so camera up t shirt and out we go, it begins to ease, oh Thank you, Mother Nature and then, well if we had stayed in the hide we would now be deaf, it buckets down and continues to do so, not only for the next 20 minutes that it took us to get back to the van but an hour or so after that.  Once back to the van at least we could strip off, dry, change and hopefully save our electronics (cameras & phone).  The van is all steamed up so after a five minute blower on the Windows we realise we cannot see much further due to the amount of rain, however we start our journey along the gravel road which is now a mini river, we manage to climb up a small hill but then when we look down the other side there are huge channels now gushing with water, they weren't there earlier my co pilot states as we quickly drive to one side with two wheels basically in the bush and the van at an angle of at least 40 degrees...... We survive and find a sealed road, it's sealed but has no drains as it runs off into the lake so we are making waves so to speak until we join a main road.  Phew you might think, that's better as we did until you realise, that at this moment in time there are now basically only three types of driver on the road, 
1. Those driving as we were at a reduced speed, with care, but driving.
2. Those that have panicked and have simply stopped at the side of the road causing an obstruction to driver no 1.
3. The 4x4 moronic dickhead who belts about, mainly to the side of the road where the water is deepest so as to make the biggest splash possible........
It's just gone 4pm but I'm heading down the center of a two lane road making it one lane to somewhere I know we can park, hopefully not many people, we can have a drink and with luck dinner, we go to the bar in the Port, park up and give a sigh of relief as we venture out to get wet all over again.  It's an early dinner for us but the deluge turns into simple raining and then drizzle, we get back to camp and surprise surprise no one is using the laundry.  We soon put the machines to good use when it's starts thunder and lightning again, now we just hope the washing/drying cycle finishes before we have a power cut..........

    Our lunch time company.

    Dead bush walk

    Blue Haven

    Twilight Beach Rocks

Running from the Tain.....

We awake to find a new weather warning, heavy rain, thunderstorms and high wind, a quick decision is made, why hang around here......... And so the day is spent driving to Esperance, 480 kms East, it's our most easterly point apart from the National Parks outside of the town and tomorrows forecast is Thunderstorms.......... It not just us that's fed up with this wet summer the aussie's are definitely not pleased as its coming up to their National Holiday long weekend basically the equivalent to the UK's August Bank Holiday only called Australia Day!  
So booked in for 4 days expecting one day at least to be a damp and a quiet day......
The only good point about the rain is that the locals are hoping it will stop the morons who have been starting bush fires near here, as we drove here we could see miles and miles of burnt bushland that we had heard about earlier when we just missed the other big fire.
Now we have just seen the news and found out that Pemberton where we stayed in the forest and climbed those trees, has been deluged with rain last night and some areas flooded.  We are just keeping in front of any grief weather at the moment, hope it continues...... It should as the forecast for the holiday weekend is Sunny and 35 degrees, we can cope with that.......
Had to laugh at the sign on the inside of the doors in the toilets....... Apparently they have an international week where they have a lot of people from other countries come, some of whom have no idea how to use the loo and more toilet seats get broken in that week than the rest of the year.......
Had a quick look around Esperance and even though it's a Holiday resort, the the best beach in West Australia, it has four restaurants to choose from and one of those is a hotel restaurant, yes it has numerous Chinese restaurants, burger joints, fish and chip cafes and no end of different chicken fast food outlets etc but somewhere nice..... No wonder the locals love their BBQ's.....

  How to use the toilet......

    Esperance