The Return to Civilisation...........

The stars start to diminish as the daylight starts to overtake night, when I say from my shower refuge " Can you let me out now please" nothing untoward has occurred during our night in the bush and so we are off at 6.30pm, on a 654kms journey with hopefully a breakfast destination, just around the corner.  Just after 8am we arrive in Northampton, it's Sunday, it's early, it's closed....... We stop at the BP Service Station come shop, come take away, come fine dining, this is good I say, we can be on the road again in half hour....... We order what we want with the guy on the desk and take a seat at one of the two tables and wait and wait and then after ten minutes  the chef comes out from the kitchen and asks what do we want, we repeat the order, which as before included drinks and sit back and watch a woman come in, walk to the freezer compartments, open it up, take something purple out and then walk out of the shop, leaving the man at the till looking bemused....... I look in the freezer and see the only thing purple is a plastic spoon for the ice cream tubs, I go over and advise man at till and as we both look out and see said woman sitting in the front passenger seat of a red dust covered 4x4 eating something with the aid of a purple spoon........ So now we have been here some considerable time when a man walks in, you may have guessed we are slightly bored by now, this man I notice is not wearing a shirt but looks like he has a bikini sun tan line, I just up and take a second look, report back to her who thinks she is in charge that I want to go and get my camera to record this event....... I am told "NO, please just have breakfast and then let's go without any trouble".  I submit to the wishes of my breakfast partner but walk over to get a better look at said man with iPhone at he ready....... It's not a chest bikini line it's white chest hair, shaped like a bikini top, I laugh to myself until he turns around and then there is so much bum cleavage, I turn excitedly to her who is sitting composed at the table, indicating towards what she is missing before it departs the store, it is then that I notice a female customer paying for something at the till looking at me as if I'm the local town looney...... I dismiss this, until I see her get into the same car as hairy bikini man, at which point I hide behind the hat stand.........
So now 25 minutes after entering said BP store we get two cups of tea.  That's it, just two cups of tea which obviously we start to sip, slurp and drink, just as we finish 10 mins later, up comes the chef with a Christmas Dinner sized breakfast......... OMG, thank goodness we never ordered mushrooms.......  It's so much I order a coffee to help it on its way down but needless to say our quick bit of brekkie took an hour.......
Back on the road and we are nearing Perth when before long I realise I am having to drive, there are other vehicles on the road, there are traffic lights, roundabouts, crossings, Filter lanes and best of all right and left turns........ For the first time in 12000 kms my life has a purpose........
So having researched where to stay several nights ago we are approaching our destination in Rockingham, as we do so Tom Tom is telling me to turn left off the beach road, whilst I distinctly remember the advert saying "idyllic oceanfront location"  but that means there's a main road between you, the camp site and the ocean......... Feeling conned, especially when I realise it's next to a noisy grain terminal....... Let's look elsewhere and so we find the Palm Beach Caravan Park, no worries here, it is what it is, a dilapidated, run down and in fact closing down when we talked to Tony the manager on the phone who at that moment was in a pool somewhere and simply said, " Steve, choose somewhere and we will sort it tomorrow" Yes, some of the sites need some weed killer but the bathroom block was spotlessly clean and so the Monkey Mia clenched buttocks were released..........
AND THEN we walked down to the front and realised we had re-joined humanity, that a civilised society still existed, that there were people, I won't say normal, but they were similar to ourselves, there were European cars, there was service at the table, there were fashionable women, there were NO men with great big flowing beards and shaved heads and certainly no men with white chest hair looking like a bikini line.....  We were back in a civilised society as we knew it and so sat at a beach front bar and ordered drinks........ Now you might think, what a happy ending but remember the only thing we have eaten in the last twelve hours was breakfast, we are still not hungry but have had a litre of sparkling Italian, yes Italian, water and two pints of 'Fat Yak' and so as the sun is setting I ask for a glass of red wine, I also ask is it chilled, "Yes" I am told, "All our wine comes out of the chiller" Perfecto, I reply and await for the perfect accompaniment to  assist in making the final moments of our re-unification with civilisation and the setting sun a moment to remember when they serve me a Luke warm glass of red stuff, I am sorry to say but I actually spat if back out into the glass much to the horror of the lady with those small things under her torso and discreetly stormed off back to the bar shouting this is disgusting....... A brief discussion was held where the barman, said nothing, looked embarrassed and did exactly what the waitress told him to do....... 5 minutes later we ended the perfect day not only with a large  glass of chilled red wine but with a tear in our eyes, do t worry it's not from the emotional Reunion we had undertaken but from the dazzle of the setting sun.......

    Out of focus Sea Snake